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Slippery When Wet

SLIPPERY WHEN WET Like The Bermuda Triangle trips, with disappearing blips, my heart stops beating, is fleeting, or else is gone. No Black Hole deeper, steeper, my heart is not a keeper, of the light sucked in by stellar wind, and played the pawn. A Double Slit Experiment, arranged for our endearment, cannot decide to stay, or play, or leave before the dawn. I'm left holding Quicksilver, unsung song, that never lasts longer, and always seeking, tweaking, what's gone wrong in moving on. Like trying to find my car keys, I've left inside the deep freeze, this nebulous thing, a fling and sting, will insist I don't belong. Contest:Dancing with Discription Sponsor: Casarah Nance Placed: HONORABLE MENTION By Edlynn Nau © October 29, 2015

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Paul Callus

Date: 11/12/2015 1:13:00 PM

No, not a soppy love poem at all...a semi-abstract take that appeals to me. Is love slippery? Yes, it can be, but even roads can be slippery when it rains, then it's up to us to drive with care! // Regards // paul

Edlynn Nau
Date: 11/12/2015 1:38:00 PM

Pure quicksilver...neither a liquid nor a metal. Slips away when you touch it. I stay off the wet roads.

Edlynn Nau
Date: 11/12/2015 1:36:00 PM

It's addictive! Then when one cannot dance any longer, then one gets out all the words, puts on the Chopin and try's to choreography them into a dance. Same thing!

Paul Callus
Date: 11/12/2015 1:17:00 PM

I just noticed that you danced...ballet! My 11yr old g'daughter goes to ballet lessons and she loves it.

Michael Tor

Date: 11/10/2015 5:28:00 PM

Wonderful write Edlynn I wrote you a message in your inbox. Loved this write.

Edlynn Nau
Date: 11/11/2015 2:20:00 AM

Thank you Michael! I'm sorry to just be getting your comments. I think my Email notification had not been able to make it through today while I was driving my dad to the VA in another city. We were gone 10:am ~ midnight. I will be by soon Michael. Sure glad you are around again!

Skat A

Date: 11/10/2015 11:38:00 AM

Edlynn, Congratulations on your awesome win. SKAT

Edlynn Nau
Date: 11/10/2015 3:09:00 PM

It's just a "mention" Skat but then it's not Free Verse which is the Genre-of-Choice for most Judges! Ha! I just love all the genre and one month, I'd like to try more. I'm going to come by & pick more from your menu! Thank you for your time and care!

A. Juman

Date: 11/10/2015 4:43:00 AM

You got it dear---Lots of love here AZ

Edlynn Nau
Date: 11/10/2015 3:05:00 PM

Thank you! So nice that you stopped by! I'm reading lots of Soupers poems. They do not recipricate like they use to do. Is everyone gone you think?

Viv Wigley

Date: 11/9/2015 10:34:00 PM

Great write, I read it aloud and rapped it. Works well. Congrats! Regards, Viv

Edlynn Nau
Date: 11/10/2015 12:09:00 AM

What a GREAT compliment! I wish I were there to hear it Viv! Thank you!

Richard Lamoureux

Date: 11/9/2015 6:58:00 PM

Very entertaining, congratulations.

Edlynn Nau
Date: 11/9/2015 10:18:00 PM

Ha! I guess I can't read! It now says "Entertaining". Are you messing with me Richard or is it time for glasses? Ha ha ha! :-p

Edlynn Nau
Date: 11/9/2015 9:56:00 PM

HA! I always ruminate on what "interesting" means! Seriously, thank you for stopping by and for your very nice cheering for my mention. Lovely of you!

CayCay Jennings

Date: 11/7/2015 6:16:00 PM

I absolutely love your poem! The interior rhymes and the flow is great, the message deep and quite poetical! Great job, Edlynn ... CayCay - Oh, I'm glad you're getting your feet wet - FIRST ASSIGNMENT - A+

Edlynn Nau
Date: 1/25/2016 1:12:00 AM

Thank you Cay Cay! Just FOUND this! Sometimes I don't get my mail from PS! Yikes! This was so much fun to write. I must try more with inner rhyme! Crazy busy start to the new year.

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 11/6/2015 3:12:00 PM

Not just alliteration, but plenty of inside rhyming with assonance going on. VERY cool entry for the contest!

Edlynn Nau
Date: 11/6/2015 3:28:00 PM

I finally did enter Andrea. It took prodding me with a stick from my fellow Soupers. I'm not very competitive! When I danced with a ballet company, they got so they didn't make me audition but just handed me the roles they wanted me to dance. Ha! I wouldn't show up for auditions. It's not a lack of esteem but rather I cherish the artists around me. So I felt like I was taking their part. Odd huh? Thank you so much for visiting my little cup-of-soup. I'm enjoying reading yours again (now that I'm back from the summer fires)!

Skat A

Date: 11/5/2015 8:15:00 PM

Hi Edlynn, first I thought of Bon Jovi :) Anyways, out of all the unwanted poems I read, this one is the deepest. Probably because of the mix of metaphors and a hint of alliteration. Love the poem and sad end. Love SKAT

Edlynn Nau
Date: 11/5/2015 11:38:00 PM

Bon Jovi...Oh my! Pretty high praise. I think this is one that fell out of my pen b/c a few Soupers asked why I never wrote about love. Then, I jotted down what I'd compare Love to in Nature (real Sci Geek): from quicksilver to car keys...its slippery, it's easy to lose. It set aside a list of 4 metaphors & I didn't know what was between the words listed. Finally steeped, it just fell to the page as it has truly been. Thank you Skat; you may indeed be the one that gets me beyond Summer Block. Here's to no WORD FOG this Fall to either of us.

Kp Nunez

Date: 11/3/2015 11:06:00 AM

This made me smile. Clever and unique take on the ever puzzling subject. soon as you know its meaning, it turns another angle and shows another facet. Insightful thinking and enjoyable read, Edlynn!

Edlynn Nau
Date: 11/3/2015 1:33:00 PM

Wow! Thank you for all the thought you put behind this critique Kim. I was starting to think that it was too obscure and maybe I missed the target with this one. You were encouraging! Almost everyone here has allowed me to see this work with new eyes. I don't write much about "Love" unless it's unconventional. "The Family" was certainly about love but, until the last 2 poems, Soupers said, "No Poems on Love?" Well, what about The Family?

Olive Eloisa Guillermo - Fraser

Date: 11/3/2015 4:30:00 AM

Edlynn, I hope you enter this to Cassies contest I think this very good!!! love it!!~Olive Eloisa =`)

Edlynn Nau
Date: 11/3/2015 2:09:00 PM

Oh THAT Cassie! I remember her poetry very well. We went through 3 major Fires this summer displacing 2000 people and leaving me to live like a gypsy (always ready to Evacuate). I only wrote The Hunger and Crispy Critters (both about fire) during the summer. I've been out of it and need to reconnect, read and write more. Getting my feet wet again! Thanks for your beautiful read!

Edlynn Nau
Date: 11/3/2015 4:53:00 AM

Hello Olive...nice to meet you & looking forward to your writes. Thank you for your encouragement. I've a question for you. What Contest????? I've never entered one. Cassie who? I'm not new but didn't write much during our summer fires and busy taking Physics classes now. I'm trying to get back to this. Please tell me about this contest. Send me mail please.

Emile Pinet

Date: 11/2/2015 6:16:00 PM

The raw emotions within your words capture the heart with their strength of truth while devastating the soul with their sadness. Love is a mystery, and we wouldn’t have it any other way! Emile.

Edlynn Nau
Date: 11/2/2015 6:30:00 PM

Both magnetic and repealling. Both a metal and a liquid, like quicksilver. Both a wave and a particle. Paradoxical love! Thanks for stopping by little house Emile. That's very nice of you! Thank you for your well thought out comments too!

Robert Lindley

Date: 10/29/2015 9:59:00 PM

Great word play and don't make the evil Triangle angry. Its a powerful force that does as it pleases. Great poem my friend. A7

Edlynn Nau
Date: 10/29/2015 10:11:00 PM

Huh! Make IT ANGRY...it eats human hearts for breakfast! Thanks for stopping in to read Robert!