'sleepless Nights'
I haven't been sleeping well
in the past few nights
Thinking about the wrongs
that could have been rights
I keep tossing and turning on my bed
My pillows soaked in the tears I shed
I just can't sleep in these long nights
No matter how hard I try
My mind keeps replaying stories
Stories about how I couldn't fly.
Let me tell you more,
I have been getting nightmares, you know
Nightmares, where I am stuck
in four walls with no windows
Nightmares that aren't really scary,
but they are weird
Unusual and bizarre kind of dreams
Unable to reach my destiny
Panting and gasping
I can hear myself scream.
Some nights,
I get few of those nightmares
Where I keep falling,
with no visible end
My guards are down,
For my helpless self,
I am not ready to defend
Sometimes,
I see myself stuck in a disaster
and I keep crawling,
to save myself and those I love
I dream of storms and the trembles
And the waves and
also of crisis existential
I wish I had some kind
of a magical wand
A wand which I could sway
To cast a spell ;
And make it all, go away.
Yesterday,
I woke up suddenly
in the middle of the night
Between life and death,
it was one of those fights
I felt my heart pounding
I felt it in my shoulders
and in my wrist
In my neck and my eyes,
a sensation,
I tried to resist
I felt my thoughts racing
I don't know,
towards or away from something
What I recognized for sure
Was this feeling of unease
Restless mind,
I wanted it to freeze.
I wish I knew what these feelings meant
I wish I could contemplate every story
Hiding inside,
untold and unexpressed
Since, a long time,
I have felt stable,
I have been happy
but clearly,
There are deeper layers to be peeled
There are emotional monsters
and they need to be killed
I need time maybe,
To understand more
To feel pain and emotions
I seem to ignore
There is no way
I can enjoy the best,
until
I genuinely earn it all
And , There is no way
I can get rid of the worst
till
'I experience it all.'
-NK
Copyright © Nidhi Khetan | Year Posted 2021
Post Comments
Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.
Please
Login
to post a comment