Sleeping Solution

It was in the Barley Tavern, on a normal Friday night,
I’d ordered flatty tails and chips for tea, before I’m sitting down,
with a schooner full of Coopers stout, when I caught a sight,
of Curly Easson entering, who doesn’t often come to town.

And some say it’s just as well; for he’s a bob short of a quid.
If there’s a village searching for an idiot - he’s the one.
But it’s got nothing to do with lawlessness, or what he did.
It’s just that Curly falls for every prank; now it is no fun.

So the problem is, Curly thinks, that everyone’s his mate,
and he keeps falling for the simple pranks, time and time again,
so now above the bar room chatter, Curley’s reached his use by date,
‘cause I hear ‘piss off will you Curly. You’ll send a bloke insane!’

And I’d hear this cuss time and again, out in the public bar,
so I rounded up old Curly, and sat him on a chair near me.
I asked “where you been Curly Old Son. Have you traveled near and far?”
Curly muttered “no not really. I’m having sleepless nights you see.”

“And Mabel moans and groans because I get so restless in our bed,
and each three hours I am wide awake, and kissing Mavis’ neck,
so the other night she done her block, and nagging loud she said,
‘you go and visit Doctor Coombes; or there’s bits of you I’ll wreck.”

I had a giggle to meself; that Doctor Coombes enjoys a joke.
I’ll bet he pointed to the garden path where Curly’s to be led,
so to find out the solution, I repeated Curley when I spoke,
“three hours sleep and wide awake - hardly worthwhile going to bed.”

“I know that” Curly winked at me, “but Doctor Coombes has fixed all that.
He’s put me on this brand new drug, that’s got extraordinary powers,
and soon as my head hits the pillow, these pills will knock me flat,
but Doctor Coombes advised me, to take one pill, every two hours.”
Copyright © | Year Posted 2020

Poem

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Proxenos Avatar
April 23, 2020 at 9:05 AM
Clever doctor and clever poet, to think of knocking the patient out and overdosing him at night so he could sleep restfully, no interruptions! Giggles and smiles - how do you think of all these punchlines - excellent! write. Blessings, Jennifer.
Laurie Avatar
April 30, 2020 at 11:58 PM
Hello Jennifer … how do I think of these ideas? This happened to me. I was in hospital to have a hernia operation and was woken up to take a sleeping tablets. I just off situations given to me - stay safe Jennifer and thank you - Lindsay
Marcum Wong Avatar
April 12, 2020 at 11:39 PM
Your tales always amuse and are so clever Lindsay. I hope you and your family had a lovely Easter. I got to FaceTime my g.kids so that made my day. Blessings xxoo
Laurie Avatar
April 13, 2020 at 8:14 PM
Hello Connie … we had an Easter like never before. No grand kids; nobody. But we did speak to all the family and the grand kids told us all about their Easter egg hunt. I'm glad you found amusement in this tale - stay safe Connie - Lindsay
Faulkner Avatar
April 12, 2020 at 11:07 AM
A funny saga of Curly, witty and droll - fun write, Lindsay!
Laurie Avatar
April 13, 2020 at 8:09 PM
Hello Michelle … pleased you saw the witty side of the modern medicine dosing. Thanks for commenting - stay safe - Lindsay
Hinshaw Avatar
April 11, 2020 at 11:39 AM
Another witty gem from thy quill, Lindsay! Always look forward to reading your writes. Glad you enjoyed the No Haircuts...write. Thankfully, I won't have to wear a braid since I live near Fort Carson, CO & their barbershops remain open but they give GI high & tight clips & I gave those up when I retired from the Air Force in '78! So what am I to do - I'd look ridiculous in a braid & sillier in a hi & tite! Bob
Laurie Avatar
April 13, 2020 at 8:07 PM
Thank you Bob for putting up with this latest post. Sadly the world has come to where the unexpected is normal. These days my wife shears me like a sheep, and my hair style looks much better than when I used to try to be something like a peacock displaying - stay safe my friend Bob - Lindsay
Callus Avatar
April 9, 2020 at 8:34 AM
A most pleasant narrative, Lindsay, and as usual, your ending gets me all misty eyed:) Regards // paul
Laurie Avatar
April 13, 2020 at 8:02 PM
Hello Paul … pleased you enjoyed another one of my verses of silliness, although in this modern society anything is possible - thank you Paul - Lindsay
Babcock Avatar
April 7, 2020 at 12:32 PM
Always enjoy your tales. Have one in this house that does not sleep and he needs some of those pills. lol love phyl
Laurie Avatar
April 13, 2020 at 7:24 PM
But how would Al feel being woke up every two hours to take a sleeping pill. I could only imagine the pills would mysteriously go missing Phyllis - Lindsay
Wolf Avatar
April 6, 2020 at 8:03 PM
It was only insomnia, you know, that made his hair curl so! Enjoyed this immensely, Lindsay! Thanks, Gershon
Laurie Avatar
April 13, 2020 at 7:01 PM
Hello Gershon … I think I would have needed a Valium as well to make sure I stayed calm. Modern medicinal application - thank you Gershon - Lindsay
Leffanta Avatar
April 6, 2020 at 1:39 PM
Clever title, too! Aloha! Rico
Laurie Avatar
April 13, 2020 at 6:57 PM
Really happened to me in hospital. I was woken up to take a sleeping pill - stay safe Rico - Lindsay
Romios Avatar
April 6, 2020 at 10:02 AM
You excellent poet, you. You do astound me. One of the most extraordinary poets here. This is a first rate delight. How I admire your fantastic poetic talent. Panagiota
Laurie Avatar
April 13, 2020 at 6:52 PM
Hello Panagiota … thank you for the compliment Panagiota, but I possibly see things a little bit different. There are many poets on here that deserve credit and you are on of them with poems that urge writers to carry on when feeling down - thank you Panagiota - Lindsay
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