Sleeping Solution
It was in the Barley Tavern, on a normal Friday night,
I’d ordered flatty tails and chips for tea, before I’m sitting down,
with a schooner full of Coopers stout, when I caught a sight,
of Curly Easson entering, who doesn’t often come to town.
And some say it’s just as well; for he’s a bob short of a quid.
If there’s a village searching for an idiot - he’s the one.
But it’s got nothing to do with lawlessness, or what he did.
It’s just that Curly falls for every prank; now it is no fun.
So the problem is, Curly thinks, that everyone’s his mate,
and he keeps falling for the simple pranks, time and time again,
so now above the bar room chatter, Curley’s reached his use by date,
‘cause I hear ‘piss off will you Curly. You’ll send a bloke insane!’
And I’d hear this cuss time and again, out in the public bar,
so I rounded up old Curly, and sat him on a chair near me.
I asked “where you been Curly Old Son. Have you traveled near and far?”
Curly muttered “no not really. I’m having sleepless nights you see.”
“And Mabel moans and groans because I get so restless in our bed,
and each three hours I am wide awake, and kissing Mavis’ neck,
so the other night she done her block, and nagging loud she said,
‘you go and visit Doctor Coombes; or there’s bits of you I’ll wreck.”
I had a giggle to meself; that Doctor Coombes enjoys a joke.
I’ll bet he pointed to the garden path where Curly’s to be led,
so to find out the solution, I repeated Curley when I spoke,
“three hours sleep and wide awake - hardly worthwhile going to bed.”
“I know that” Curly winked at me, “but Doctor Coombes has fixed all that.
He’s put me on this brand new drug, that’s got extraordinary powers,
and soon as my head hits the pillow, these pills will knock me flat,
but Doctor Coombes advised me, to take one pill, every two hours.”
Copyright © Lindsay Laurie | Year Posted 2020
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