Simple Truths

You've been making some big insights, telling me how you see and view me living my life. I respect what all you have to say, but ti regard me as mean, miserable, and unhappy as a person, are simply not ok. Sometimes my pain gets the best of me, sometimes my situation makes me feel very lonely. Sometimes I get sad and I get blue, but I have never ever meant to the anything out on the two of you. Yes I deal with depression, I have anxiety too, but I try to hide this from everyone, so not to know my truth. I try to be optimistic and look for the best in even the bad, no reason to dwell on things from the past, you learn from transgressions and mistakes and by every day living. I live my life each day, for the apple of my eye, the most beautiful child, I can only hope one day she will view me as her role model. I have learned to accept my fate, make the best of each new day, and not to loose my faith along my journeys way. I have my struggles and difficulties, who would I be if I had none, I need to take each as a life lesson, the warmth from the sun. I have accepted the sickness that got ahold of me, I know the man upstairs has a plan, I choose to keep fighting and moving forward, for all of the world to see. My life Isn't easy, I definitely have my struggles, Im handicapped now, and well a specimen or breed like no other. I fought like hell to get to the point I am currently in my life, Ive finally found some peace and contentment and I hold my head high, with no contentment. I know longer want to continue this endless journey all about life, no longer your friend or your wife, I don't want to the anymore medication, my miracle drug isn't going to just fall in my hand. Enough about me, now lets move onto you, for hear Im now going to tell you my simple truths. I feel like your always mad at me, noting I say ever feels ok. Nothing I do is ever suffice for you. I always feel like your putting me down, never once are you proud of me, always ready to correct me and condone me. It truly hurts when you question me as a Mother, my greatest joy, my most blessed gift, my job like no other. I know I don't always do things the way you would or in your eyes correct, parenting doesn't come with a hand book, so mistakes you can expect. It hurts and belittles me when you treat me like a child, we are coparents and equals, we must stand with each other. Im not sure you realize how often you do this, you talk to me like I'm at times worthless. You are a very intelligent man, but it truly hurts when you speak down upon me, it makes my blood boil, I feel stupid and less worthy, and your just being ruthless. I have a question Id like to ask you, "If I feel its not me whom is mean, angry and unhappy, If I feel I am not the one with the problem, respectfully, could it be you reflecting your own feelings about you and your simple truths". Maybe your the one that feels mean and angry, maybe your the one that truly isn't happy. I believe its time for you to look inside yourself, can you live with me and all my flaws, or will you continue to miss communicate, argue and fight, and continue to resent each other and then one day ourselves. Ill wait until you've had time to sit with my questions and think things through, then we need to make some hard decisions that are best for you and I and our little dependent. One more thing I must ask you, is the critique to mask a possible secret, a truth. Do you have a person in your life like no other, a women you've been turning to, confiding in, someone whom is not me but another. If our line of communication and trust is this badly broken, you've turned to another, Im very sorry all of this has happened to us, and you probably feel I pushed you away in the arms of another. Take your time and please really think things through. Find the answers you need and find your truth. I will be on the same journey, asking myself a lot of hard questions and where my truth leads.