Silver Lining of Hope

Talking about it just kills me inside This feeling of wanting to simply hide My pride is broken... Words left unspoken... I just want to get high, high, high Got to strut my stuff - can’t deny Low self-esteem - it’s haunting and taunting me once more I express myself to the core...I am the one you adore...what for? I just want to get drunk Got to ***** my ***** I feel jacked up I feel screwed up oh so inwardly I just want to give up Walking and talking awkwardly Suppose I’m stupid... Trying to get rid of you in my mind I hid away my tears of shame Inadequately not good enough Insanity sexually abuses me Empty with envy Combat me with happiness aglee Just set all of you and me free I need an outlet for this regret Somewhere in this rut Somewhere in my gut Lonesome as a log in the creek of no tomorrow Shame embraces me, never leaving my presence...it’s barreling in my brain of sorrow Worthless and remorseful - I doubt anyone will care about me anyway I don’t know anymore and will wish away dismay If only I can pray... Away this disarray... I resort to this distressful agitation when I’m freakin frustrated I resort to substance use because of my guilt...I’m faded... Greatly sad over you...swimming in my misery pool Then again, maybe not Sick of the rue...so damn cruel, sick of being played as the fool... Reverse me...hopping ocean to ocean just to be with you, my lonesome island of isolation...here, in my shell, I rot Ripple effect of damaging old habits trump over me Someday, I’ll be a successful bard of pure clarity Embarrassed because of my intellect and being reject thereof I’m looking forward to Love...my abominable sins I keep thinking of Shame embraced me, Never leaving my presence Shame embraced me, Leaving me feeling intense...tense... Shame embraced me, Never leaving my presence Shame embraced me, Leaving me feeling intense...tense... Shame embraced me, Never leaving my presence Shame embraced me, Leaving me emotionally dependent and letting go of it gives me deliverance and reverence...it’s a radiance beyond efflorescence...it’s an effulgent transformation and I’m camouflaging into creative vibes of my own...misunderstood empathetically... Lamentation has spread its wings of flight with its undying might tonight Positively negative in your arms of delight I will fight the good fight without any fright Hot and cold flashes sneak into my goosebumped skin The shame inside is raping me with rue from deep down within But, there’s a silver lining of hope and patience Remember to accept it with wondrous graciousness This guilt - that avarice vermin - overflows with jubilance Flourish faithfully - engrained in loneliness