Silencing love

Am I weak because I confess my deepest traumatic experiences with you? Are you less of a man because you can’t understand the things I been through? When all I knew was to be strong and hide everything inside, yet I confessed my darkest moments with you. You proceeded to tell me I’m of age now so it shouldn’t matter so basically just close the chapter. How woman live in the past and the present. In any event I was just trying to explain my traumatic event by my bilateral descent. Even if this theory is true, why do you make me feel like I can’t never confess to you? Is it hard to hear the things I went through? But imagine reliving the trauma ; it happened to me not you. That really hurts when you say you don’t and can’t hear my pain, you started to act so inhumane. Who am I supposed to share my deepest thoughts to? If you’re my man I’m supposed to be able to share any and everything with you. If you should ever see me cry it’s not about my past, it’s truly my heart just collapsed. It’s living , but feeling alone because nobody can understand you. Every time you get close to someone they just end up hurting you. All the broken promises eventually starts breaking me too. Leaving me creating a wall to protect me from you. Escaping from the shattered glass walls that’s aggressively penetrating and invading me leaving my heart inflating. If this is what you truly choose, I have no problem going back into my little cocoon. Keeping my voice on mute, my feelings and thoughts away from you. You changed from when we first met, I was able to tell you anything and you showed compassion. I guess after getting the girl you became demurred. You no longer put in the work to prevent her from getting hurt. Just like this letter that will never get read, because these thoughts and feelings will stay inside my head. You will never know how this makes me feel, so we’ll go on pretending while I continue to stay leaking and Bleeding until I’m brain dead.