Shed the Shadow

Oh how he watches me in the shadow of his tree,
strong, bold and blocking out the glare of the sun.
He claims I shine like the stars, the moon, brighter than them all, 
A blazing comet, a speeding fireball.
He stands close and my sparks ignite a fire, 
They shower down upon his figure, 
warm and yet his skin does not singe,
Nor does he burn or go blind when staring at my radiance.

When first he lay eyes upon my naked form, 
Heart mangled and organs thrust out into the world,
My skin quivered as fear closed a dark cloud around me.
He pushed through it with a soft light,
Barely gleaming so as to not hurt my eyes.
Gentle touch to my cheek with not pity but understanding, 
Like a Shepard to a lost lamb he tended to my wounds.
He spoke with intelligence and honesty,
and watched as slowly I stood and then grew.
Shedding the shadow in which I had once lived
He tended my soul until I bloomed

Galaxies away I felt the touch of his love,
He threw his faith and his hope at me, 
Feeding from the power he saw.
A hummingbird to nectar,
And I was his flower, growing high in the sun.
He whispered great stories to me 
saying, oh, powerful one,
Live in beauty and laugh often,
Ride through the winds like a spoken memory, 
Pictures engraved in the heart of a tree,
Be the beauty, the power you wish to be.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2013



Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Date: 11/3/2013 2:29:00 PM
The most romantic and uplifting dedicated composition I know Jay - the final verse is so potent in wisdom and smooth, elegant beauty - scintillating nourishment my beautiful friend - an indisputable masterpiece & FAV>!!!!!!!!! - J.A.B. %
Login to Reply
Loveless Avatar
Jay Loveless
Date: 11/4/2013 8:04:00 PM
Im glad you liked it Justin, It joys me to hear it :)
Date: 10/31/2013 7:22:00 AM
Uplifting & a refresh of the heart & mind. This was great. What I'd like to see is a more effective "spacing" of your lines. They're effective in of itself. But, it can have a stronger impact when spaced out right or stanzas, if you will. Just a thought on this. Again, this was damn good and a vital message for all who just don't know how or why they need to shed their walls.
Login to Reply
Loveless Avatar
Jay Loveless
Date: 10/31/2013 8:44:00 AM
Lol thats what I did actually, to get it right, I read it outloud and saw where I would pause. I suppose sometimes I forget because there are some writes that I do where my words are a flurry as if the person reading is getting caught up in a current and carried away
Tacito Avatar
Poet Tacito
Date: 10/31/2013 8:37:00 AM
This is a good improvement. Definitely. =) The pauses in a writing are important, so as to allow the reader to catch their breath. More important for you, the writer, to catch your breathe when/if you ever read your work aloud.
Loveless Avatar
Jay Loveless
Date: 10/31/2013 7:49:00 AM
Is that better? I greatly appreciate the advice. I admit, when I wrote this it was quite late and I wasn't thinking much about the appearance or format. Sometimes I forget to go back though and edit a bit to make it better suited. So, like I said, I greatly appreciate your advice :)
Get a Premium Membership
Get more exposure for your poetry and more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Reflection on the Important Things

Member Area

My Admin
Profile and Settings
Edit My Poems
Edit My Quotes
Edit My Short Stories
Edit My Articles
My Comments Inboxes
My Comments Outboxes
Soup Mail
Poetry Contests
Contest Results/Status
Followers
Poems of Poets I Follow
Friend Builder

Soup Social

Poetry Forum
New/Upcoming Features
The Wall
Soup Facebook Page
Who is Online
Link to Us

Member Poems

Poems - Top 100 New
Poems - Top 100 All-Time
Poems - Best
Poems - by Topic
Poems - New (All)
Poems - New (PM)
Poems - New by Poet
Poems - Read
Poems - Unread

Member Poets

Poets - Best New
Poets - New
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems Recent
Poets - Top 100 Community
Poets - Top 100 Contest

Famous Poems

Famous Poems - African American
Famous Poems - Best
Famous Poems - Classical
Famous Poems - English
Famous Poems - Haiku
Famous Poems - Love
Famous Poems - Short
Famous Poems - Top 100

Famous Poets

Famous Poets - Living
Famous Poets - Most Popular
Famous Poets - Top 100
Famous Poets - Best
Famous Poets - Women
Famous Poets - African American
Famous Poets - Beat
Famous Poets - Cinquain
Famous Poets - Classical
Famous Poets - English
Famous Poets - Haiku
Famous Poets - Hindi
Famous Poets - Jewish
Famous Poets - Love
Famous Poets - Metaphysical
Famous Poets - Modern
Famous Poets - Punjabi
Famous Poets - Romantic
Famous Poets - Spanish
Famous Poets - Suicidal
Famous Poets - Urdu
Famous Poets - War

Poetry Resources

Anagrams
Bible
Book Store
Character Counter
Cliché Finder
Poetry Clichés
Common Words
Copyright Information
Grammar
Grammar Checker
Homonym
Homophones
How to Write a Poem
Lyrics
Love Poem Generator
New Poetic Forms
Plagiarism Checker
Poetics
Poetry Art
Publishing
Random Word Generator
Spell Checker
Store
What is Good Poetry?
Word Counter