Shake

Nothing has been the same since you came and 
shook shook shook
my world last year with every
 shake shake shake
 of your hands on my neck
 and cut wrists in my kitchen
with the same knife that I butter my toast with.
 My world shook, shook, shook, to pieces when you said “Come on beautiful, you know I didn’t mean it”
As I wiped the fresh blood off of the creases in my face,
And it shook, shook, shook until I could feel nothing at all.
And in nothingness I found empty rooms, empty thoughts, and even empty feeling breaths-
I couldn’t breathe.
It was like I was gasping for air every second of my life
And when I finally let go and quit trying to gasp
I was still here
Dying in a body that was fully alive.
Have you ever been alive and dying at the same time?
I have, 
I did.
 Every day
Every minute
Every second
For each month
for four months.
Hard times like that, with tough **** like that, can make you 
Shake
Shake
Shake
For no reason at all.
And here I am. 
A year later.
Shake, shake, shaking
Even after it all-
Never escaping the earthquake in my own head.

Copyright © Hallie Pennington | Year Posted 2014

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