Serve me up

**Serve me up. Let me go. I chose this life a long time ago. Blinded by anxiety, my mind was killing me. What am I to do when I have nothing left to choose? The pain in me runs deep. The stories I told I could never keep. Running through my veins, screaming like I'm insane— Too much to handle, but I still heal from it. Life is full of traumatic parts, Transmuted with time and cleaned to become a part of my open heart. An open heart, bleeding constantly, needing, Yet God is the only one who can really save me. Pause, I know better, it was my choice after all I have to pull the bricks out of this thick wall. Who am I to put such burden on God, when my ego wanted to prove them all. Tempted to crawl back into bed while it's cold, Tempted to pull the covers over my head and pretend those options never appeared. I know better, though; I must push through. Tears and panic must be felt and understood. Thankfully, I can see. Thankfully, I can breathe. All the pain and sorrow within me—I am grateful for the scars left on my knees, The scars on my legs, Reminders of what I must put to an end. I will persevere through this time. Vitality is yet to be claimed as mine. My system is calm now. My veins are steady, and I can finally swallow. The truth within me was buried deep, The truth within me was too shameful to see. I love myself and all of me. Gratitude to God, Elohim. Tough lessons have led to new beginnings and brought forth love to bloom, Radiant as delicate flowers. I just realized I was living in the tallest tower. "Woe is me" was yesterday; I am empowered to face my fears courageously. Take care of yourself. Know that you are not alone, and God’s/Source/Elohim’s timing is all designed in divine timing with you in mind. You are very valid and loved. ???????**