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Sequence-Kiss of Life

Her body spoke volumes- but he could not read.. Her laughter rang out loud- but he would not hear.. He lived in denial- until all hope died.. He buried rejection- love came on the scene... He married this sweet-heart- and made her his queen

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Keith Bickerstaffe

Date: 12/6/2008 7:33:00 AM

Nice flowing collection of LANTERNES... cool transition from sadness to joy. Well done my friend! Best wishes, Keith

Denis Joe

Date: 12/2/2008 12:06:00 PM

A good piece of poetry this. It is not easy to bring off writing like this successfully as there always seems to be a jerkiness to the reading as the eye (and tongue) move from on line to the next. But that isn’t a problem here and I think this shows a mastery of the form. The flow is very gentle and lyrical. The use of ‘her’ and ‘he’ as two voices (if you like) also creates a good feel to this.

Sandy Schermerhorn

Date: 12/1/2008 4:33:00 PM

so wonderfully written loved this piece and such a romantic ending to a torn begining

Juliane Thomas

Date: 12/1/2008 2:32:00 PM

Very nice love story in this poem. Wonderful sequence, and I love the Lanterne form, which I haven't tried to do yet. You're inspiring me to go ahead and give it a whirl!

Chitra Lakhera

Date: 12/1/2008 10:17:00 AM

This so lovely. She is indeed so lucky:) Beautifully written Brian. Soft language and great flow to it. Love, Chitra

Carrie Richards

Date: 12/1/2008 8:16:00 AM

Worth waiting for! Patience paid off, and I'm sure the best is yet to come. Well said, Brian...Carrie

Michael Jordan

Date: 12/1/2008 6:27:00 AM

Wow Brian this is like an epic for you - Much longer than usual - great job loved the ending - God Bless, MJ

Sharon Winter

Date: 12/1/2008 5:29:00 AM

Ah, lucky lady. Nothing like being treated like a queen. How grateful we are when we find the real thing. Beautiful. Love, Shar

Kristin Reynolds

Date: 12/1/2008 2:32:00 AM

Awww, what a sweet love story in poetry form. loved this romantic write, love Kristin

Denis Joe

Date: 12/1/2008 1:51:00 AM

This has a great feel to it. the flow is excellent and fitting for the style. The occassional alliteration works well as it doesn't flood the poem and make it overly structured as this would, perhaps, spoil the narrative.