Selling Myself Short
The night I killed myself, I wrote a letter
A letter to everyone who has ever loved me and watched me grow
A gentle reminder that it’s okay to let me go
The night I killed myself, I told my best friend I loved her,
That I appreciate all that she has done
That even when life was crumbling, she was always my one
The night I killed myself, I hugged my mom dearly
I apologized for the anger pitted deep inside of me
I told her it wasn't her fault and that in the end, everything would be okay
All while knowing, I had no intentions to stay
The night I killed myself, I walked my dog one last time
Absorbed the sunrays on my skin and the floral notes in the air
Suddenly for a moment, I was genuinely happy to be there
I stopped to smell the roses and even pet a neighborhood cat
I started to wonder when I lost sight of the beauty in all that
The night I killed myself, I stopped at my favourite diner to say goodbye
Chatting up the doe-eyed server as I waited in line
Digesting the fact that this life doesn't get better
So I sat by my bedside, writing this letter
But the night I killed myself, I came back to me
Seeing what I had done and the true, wholehearted love that always surrounded me
I thought about the roses and the neighborhood cat, my mother's hug and my best friends always having my back
About what tomorrow would have brought if I had just stuck around to see
Suddenly an abundance of love, rushing over me
How thankful I am that I put the pen down
Crumpled up the paper, stepped back and looked around
Seeing my many blessings and becoming grateful I thought twice,
Of thinking of cutting myself short of the privilege to fully experience this life.
Copyright © Lydia Campbell | Year Posted 2024
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