Selling Myself Short

The night I killed myself, I wrote a letter A letter to everyone who has ever loved me and watched me grow A gentle reminder that it’s okay to let me go The night I killed myself, I told my best friend I loved her, That I appreciate all that she has done That even when life was crumbling, she was always my one The night I killed myself, I hugged my mom dearly I apologized for the anger pitted deep inside of me I told her it wasn't her fault and that in the end, everything would be okay All while knowing, I had no intentions to stay The night I killed myself, I walked my dog one last time Absorbed the sunrays on my skin and the floral notes in the air Suddenly for a moment, I was genuinely happy to be there I stopped to smell the roses and even pet a neighborhood cat I started to wonder when I lost sight of the beauty in all that The night I killed myself, I stopped at my favourite diner to say goodbye Chatting up the doe-eyed server as I waited in line Digesting the fact that this life doesn't get better So I sat by my bedside, writing this letter But the night I killed myself, I came back to me Seeing what I had done and the true, wholehearted love that always surrounded me I thought about the roses and the neighborhood cat, my mother's hug and my best friends always having my back About what tomorrow would have brought if I had just stuck around to see Suddenly an abundance of love, rushing over me How thankful I am that I put the pen down Crumpled up the paper, stepped back and looked around Seeing my many blessings and becoming grateful I thought twice, Of thinking of cutting myself short of the privilege to fully experience this life.