Selfish and Selfless
In the quiet of night, when the world felt so still,
I brought you home, my heart full yet so filled with fear,
A baby so small, so fragile and bright,
After surgery's touch, we faced each new night.
Your father, a shadow who came when it pleased,
While I stood alone, with my worries and needs.
Three days my mother stayed, then you were mine alone,
I whispered to you, my precious one, "Welcome home."
Your breaths felt so delicate, each one a prayer,
Would you stop? Would you suffer? Was I even prepared?
I couldn’t sleep, my mind racing, so wide,
Your pain, your safety, my heart open, no place to hide.
I couldn’t nurse, my body was dry,
Stress took my milk, though I tried, and I tried.
I lost weight, as the hours slipped away,
But there was no time to think of myself each day.
A colleague, a friend, would drop by with care,
To let me eat, shower, or simply be there.
A moment of kindness, a pause in the storm,
While I clung to you tight, keeping you warm.
Through every smile, through every soft glance,
My love grew, a fierce, tender dance.
In your eyes, I found my world, my bliss,
And for all that was hard, I wouldn’t trade this.
Though I knew of the struggles that might one day come,
The lack of oxygen, the damage undone,
For now, you were perfect, my baby, my heart,
And in this small moment, we’d never part.
So, I loved you fiercely, with all my soul,
Selfishly and selflessly, making you whole.
Through the fear, the sleepless nights, and the pain,
I gave you my heart, time and again.
And though the road ahead may still be unknown,
In that quiet moment, I was never alone.
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