Selfish
Suicide is selfish.
Then I am too.
How could someone leave their loved ones like that.
Because I am selfish and therefore don't deserve to live.
Don't they know how much pain they'll cause.
Less pain then I'm causing now.
Why wasn't our love enough?
Because I know you only ever said you loved me so you wouldn't feel guilty when I killed myself.
I miss them so much.
You shouldn't I only made your life worse.
I wish I could go back and tell them how much I loved them.
Don't. I wouldn't have believed you anyway.
Why didn't they reach out for help?
I did. I drank too much. I took too many pills. I tried every drug I could find. I begged for someone to save me from myself.
They had an addiction, I couldn't let my life revolve around their problems.
I couldn't let you live your life worrying about my problems.
Why didn't they try harder.
I tried for so long and just kept hurting those that loved me more and more.
Wasn't my love for them enough?
Yes, but my love for myself wasn't.
Copyright © Max Malied | Year Posted 2022
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