Self-harm, a drug

The violence is my addiction The pain keeps me lingering It's like my self-diagnosed prescription Every shade of red now I find it triggering. I want to stop it for once and for all But my body doesn't sync with my mind It's now deep and intense what once started off small, The weapons somehow my hands still find. I promise myself I won't let it get worse Alas promises are meant to be broken I don't even try to undo this curse I collect the scars like they're precious tokens I hide as if my life would end if they see, Different swords I use to commit the same crime I myself tie the ropes so I can't break free, Sigh and say I won't go this deep the next time. I make not a single thought and I'm already bleeding, the blood and tears combine giving me mere seconds of peace. My shivering body for an end is pleading in the dripping blood that ricochets I find ease. I reassure myself despite knowing I'm lying I'm the one fueling this loop of misery I make cuts to hang on instead of dying I continue to do it even though it kills me, the injury. The skin that keeps me contained has slits all over Every day I wash away the blood behind closed doors I'm an addict always failing to get sober Out of shame, my head lowers seeing as the blood everywhere pours.