Seeking Contradiction

I know what I want. A man with words that warm me and a touch that gives me chills. A man who challenges me intellectually, spiritually, emotionally, physically, and in ways there aren’t even words for. But who isn’t threatened to learn a thing or two from me. A man who sees beauty in my ugliest parts. Who knows when to throw me down in passion and when to lift me up in care. I know what I want. A man that relishes independence for himself and me, but aspires to the heights we can only reach together. A man who finds me desirable enough to chase, intently. Yet who’s willing to be caught, naked and exposed. A man who’ll surprise me, but who’s devotion is unshakably predictable. A man who moves inside me til I tremble. And yet when he puts his arms around me, I melt. I know what I want. I want to care enough to fight. And be cared for enough to make up. I want to crave a common space called “home” as much as I crave faraway and distant lands. I want to love and be loved deeply, to depths I've not yet known. Yet enjoy life's shallow waters where fun and levity thrive. I want a love that is loud and boisterous when it just can’t be contained, but also quiet and stirring when it needs to recharge. I know what I want. I want it childishly, like a toddler whose favorite toy is lost in the crack. I want it desperately, like a drowning man wants a breath. I want it earnestly, like a mother just wants her child to be happy. But childish desperation, even earnestly projected does not make it so. Still, I know what I want. Simply knowing is a satisfaction to savor.