Seduced

I find myself at a new place in my life, where the terra firma of my safe, and known existence, has become a shoreline. I stand, poised, at the water's edge, its small, rippling waves, caressing my toes, beckoning me to enter farther.  The strangeness, and beauty, of this new place, has had me mesmerized. The wonder of discovery, is like the excitement  of new love, blinding in its beauty, its very newness.  So ,it isn't any surprise, that I have thrown myself in, completely, into the deep, shimmering, moonlit waters, and have immersed myself completely, like a woman with her lovers touch. But, now, the spell is starting to ease its grip. Now, the doubts and fears, start to creep into my thoughts. Have I been foolishly blind? Will I find, that the water is deeper, the currents hidden beneath the surface stronger, than my ability to swim? Will this new lover, suddenly take off the mask of gentleness and love, to expose the true monster that was hidden behind? Aw, cruel doubt! So poisonous, and insidious! And I am so easily swayed by your venomous whispers! I have, long ago, lost the brash over confidence of youth, and now wish fervently, to have some of it back again. But, wasting myself on wishing back the past does nothing, but build the fears, and doubts stronger. If I panic, I could drown!