Searching
I had been there since twilight
I was waiting for the moon.
But now it’s well past midnight
And for hours I sang those solemn tunes
That brought the gods to my ancestors.
In this pitch dark
I seek the moonlight.
Floating on a raft
Miles into the deep into the ocean.
This night is cold
My body is old,
But my thoughts are bold and defiant.
I long for the warmth of oil lamps and incense
I want to believe in a Savior
Or to believe that my spells have power.
I am here:
Alone and naked;
Weary and tired.;
Overwhelmed and freezing;
Within inches of death or eternal damnation.
I live here with nothing more
Than reason and the stars.
I sleep under the cosmos—
I sleep with my doubt.
My cathartic cries!
My body trembles in ecstasy and sorrow
As I wonder what I’ll see tomorrow.
Because my mind grew wings and flew away.
But my heart is still on this raft.
I jubilant; I am petrified.
I am free; I am mortified.
There is nothing else here but these dark skies
The icy sea and a cool sea breeze
And the beating of a billion hearts.
Copyright © Anamika N | Year Posted 2012
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