Scared

I run the glass down my arm But I'm afraid of the pain as if it will be worse then the pain that wracks my heart I look to my gun I check there's a bullet in the chamber and I unload it Remembering the patient in the nursing home I take care of that tried to end his pain that way. I slam gifts from you to the ground, shattering them Into tiny pieces just like the broken pieces of my heart. I wish I had the courage just to end it all there is nothing left in this world for me I'm done. But I'm too scared to end it all so I'm just stuck in this life, without love and alone. Shaking and scared, hurting so bad it feels like my soul is being ripped from me God forsook me and left me to face this alone So it doesn't surprise me that he would rip my soul from me. All I can do is plod along and just hope that I'll eventually die and just dissipate into the wind.