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Santa's Seeing Red

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Santa’s Seeing Red

Late one evening up at the pole
Santa was watching TV
He shook his head as he started for bed
After seeing how people could be
All night long he tossed and turned
I guess he just couldn’t let go
He saw a sleigh and watched burn
As it sat there in the snow
When he woke He realize 
That Christmas was actually dead
He couldn’t sleep with those sugarplums 
Dancing inside his head, Now it’s said
      Santa’s seeing red

That next morning, Santa was warming
His hands by a fireside
Someone had set the toyshop a flame
But there was no one,  to blame in site
The elves then noticed the deer were gone
Someone must have let them go
But they never seemed to take noticed 
There were no tracks left in the snow
That same day they had a feast 
But not a single word was said
About were all the meat came from
That was stuffed inside the bread, with Christmas dead
      Santa’s seeing red

After dinner Santa stood up
And laid off all of his crew
He said the world was so screwed up
There was nothing He could do
He said that people hearts were colder
Much colder than the Arctic’s air
They're filled with greed, and blind to the needs 
Of poor people everywhere, 
So Father Christmas will be no more
For the little girls and little boys
They can say goodbye to all of those treats 
And all those fricken' toys,  Because instead
     Santa’s seeing red

So when the twenty-fifth rolls by
You can treat it like another day
Santa’s found a new hometown
And a different game to play
He now sits back upon a beach
With women and booze he likes
Forgetting about frozen toes
And all of those silent nights 
So don’t you pout and you better watch out
For that lump of coal instead
You did your part now add to your cart
All the things that I’ve just said, and where it’s lead
     To Santa’s seeing red

Some say that giving is more blessed
And better than to receive
Santa will put you to the test
And see what you believe
So pass a man who’s homeless
Without reaching for a little doe
For what you do might follow you 
No matter where you go
Now you’re sitting on Christmas eve
Just thinking about what I’ve said
You’ll all miss your shiny gifts
But not the people without bread,  so stay bed
         Cause Santa’s seeing red
                        
So don’t look at the poor folks
Just look the other way
And Christ won’t be the only one
That’s missing on Christmas day, 
Just drink until you’re merry
And feast until you’re full
He knows that you’ve been naughty
Cause he’s not gullible 
So when you see him on the street
It’s a sight that you should dread
Cause he knows all your sins
And they're stored inside his head or so it’s said
         Santa’s seeing red


Now it’s time to anti up 
And dig into your stash
If you want him to stay quiet
Better cough up a little cash
And I think that you’ll remember
Christmas time every year
It’s time to give to Santa
Or live in constant fear
So you had better be real nice
And kick in a little bread
And you’ll better not think it twice
Or your reputation will be dead, like I said
Santa’s seeing red

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