Jan Allison Poet Limerick

Santa Is Coming

Santa comes but once a year 
Impotence his greatest fear 
He fills up his sack
Slings it on his back
Hope he wont drop his load here

Mrs Claus was in great distress
She wants sex she does confess
Santa saw his GP
Saying please help me
We need to sort out this mess

The doc prescribed some blue pills
They cured Santa of his ills
Now back in the sack
Not flat on their back
Now they are getting their thrills


11~22~14
Contest: What’s up with Santa
Sponsor Jerry Curtis

♡Like0

Share Poem

---

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Lindsay Laurie December 27, 2014 at 5:32 PM G'day... With the title, I wondered about what I may be going to read... and I was right. Ha-ha, well done Jan. Regards Lindsay Jan Allison December 27, 2014 at 5:33 PM I am known for my humour Lindsay - glad you liked my silly write:-) Hugs jan xxx

Rajat Kanti Chakrabarty November 30, 2014 at 12:36 PM tricky sac, but blue pills? I can guess..right drop in the right place. Love Jan XXX rajat Jan Allison November 30, 2014 at 1:01 PM Thanks Rajat:-) Hugs jan xx

Timothy Hicks November 25, 2014 at 2:53 PM Oh my gosh... so many innuendos. After reading this poem I glanced at your title, once more, with fresh insight. Clever wordplay and misdirection - comedy (as well as terror) is about surprise. Enjoyed the giggles :) Jan Allison November 25, 2014 at 3:15 PM I am getting well known for my humour Timothy! I am glad you appreciated the title - I think a clever title is as important as the body of the poem itself:-) hugs Jan xxx

Jenny Brewer November 22, 2014 at 8:31 PM Ha ha ha/ or Ho Ho Ho,lol,Jolly good hun. xxx Jenny Brewer November 22, 2014 at 9:10 PM Oh tishhh toshhh. xxxx Big Hugs xxx Jan Allison November 22, 2014 at 8:32 PM LOl Thanks Jenny I do appreciate your support my friend - without you I wouldn't be here:-) Hugs Jan xxx

Maurice Yvonne November 22, 2014 at 3:11 PM I didn't like being all the way at the bottom especially with Santa coming. Call me crazy but I just think there is something unsanitary about that. Jan Allison November 22, 2014 at 3:13 PM lol guess you prefer to be on top then:-) Hugs Jan xx

Kevin Leake November 22, 2014 at 2:38 PM Hi Jan' Great write LoL made me smile. You have a way with words. Enjoyed. Good Luck Kevin Jan Allison November 22, 2014 at 2:41 PM I do try and write with humour when I can:-) Hugs Jan xx

Cona Adams November 22, 2014 at 2:25 PM A really cute limerick, Jan. Good luck with the contest. Jan Allison November 22, 2014 at 2:41 PM Thanks Cona - I had fun with this one:-) hugs jan xx

Nette Onclaud November 22, 2014 at 12:55 PM ending in a fun note.. really refreshing and witty, jan.. enjoyed.. huggs Jan Allison November 22, 2014 at 12:59 PM Thanks so much Nette:-) hugs Jan xxx

Jack Ellison November 22, 2014 at 12:54 PM As Dan said, the title has a new meaning! LOL Love ya, girl! XXX Jan Allison November 22, 2014 at 12:59 PM LOL Jack I do try to be creative with my titles lol:-) hugs Jan xx

James Fraser November 22, 2014 at 11:01 AM Love it Jan, keep em coming Girl, no pun intended, James :) xx Jan Allison November 22, 2014 at 11:02 AM ha ha ha James i was so wanting YOU to read this one lol:-) hugs jan xx

Dan Helppi November 22, 2014 at 9:28 AM The title sure reads different now! Jan Allison November 22, 2014 at 10:32 AM lol Dan - yes you seem to be the first one to pick up on that - I do like to be creative with the titles lol:-) Hugs Jan xxx

Richard Lamoureux November 22, 2014 at 8:02 AM Ha ha ho ho ho! Maybe Santa needs a ho or perhaps a bigger hose! This made me smile. Jan Allison November 22, 2014 at 10:31 AM You must get Mama Bear to read it Richard lol:-) Hugs jan xx

Sara Kendrick November 22, 2014 at 7:36 AM Poor Santa all the stress had zapped his manhood..Reads like a winner ..Creative work..Way to go..Thanks for the visit to my page..Sara Jan Allison November 22, 2014 at 10:30 AM Thanks Sara:-) Hugs Jan xx

Paul Callus November 22, 2014 at 4:18 AM Excellent content, Jan....especially the first limerick, overflowing with humour! Keep them coming! hugs // paul Jan Allison November 22, 2014 at 4:50 AM I tried to read the first 4 lines to Bob was laughing so much I couldn't even read it - the rest of the poem simply came to me lol:-) hugs jan xx

Dr. Upma A. Sharma November 22, 2014 at 12:48 AM Great limerics Jan u hv come up with my friend! Gl in contest! Jan Allison November 22, 2014 at 4:49 AM Thanks Dr Sharma:-) Hugs Jan xx

Tim Smith November 22, 2014 at 12:27 AM Lol...I hear blue is the new black...these are great Jan :)....hugs Tim Jan Allison November 22, 2014 at 4:48 AM Thanks Tim:-) Hugs jan xx

Andrea Dietrich November 21, 2014 at 8:49 PM oh my, where do you come up with this stuff, Jan? Hahahaha. Impotent santa!! So funny. I will have to look up my drunk santa poem to enter into this one!! Jan Allison November 22, 2014 at 4:48 AM I wrote the first 4 lines Andrea i was trying to read it to my hubby but was laughing so much I couldn't talk - i guessed if I found it funny others would - the rest of it just flowed naturally lol :-) Hugs jan xx

David Meade November 21, 2014 at 8:33 PM Wow, that's a vision! I just made an appointment with my GP -- blue is my favorite color. Merry Christmas Jan Allison November 22, 2014 at 4:46 AM ha ha ha David:-) Hugs Jan xx

Brenda Meier-Hans November 21, 2014 at 7:07 PM Cute Jan. How do you know what colour those pills are? Jan Allison November 21, 2014 at 7:12 PM I googled of course LOL hugs Jan xxx

Maurice Yvonne November 21, 2014 at 6:57 PM No, I really really like it. I Faved it! Jan Allison November 21, 2014 at 7:11 PM Thanks Maurice:-) Hugs Jan xx

Maurice Yvonne November 21, 2014 at 6:49 PM These limericks are excellent Jan. You did a great job. I love these. Hope you do really well in the contest. Jan Allison November 21, 2014 at 6:52 PM It's just silly fun write Maurice - thanks for being the first to comment I do appreciate your support:-) Hugs Jan xx