Home » Poems » Jan Allison » Santa Is Coming

Santa Is Coming

Santa comes but once a year 
Impotence his greatest fear 
He fills up his sack
Slings it on his back
Hope he wont drop his load here

Mrs Claus was in great distress
She wants sex she does confess
Santa saw his GP
Saying please help me
We need to sort out this mess

The doc prescribed some blue pills
They cured Santa of his ills
Now back in the sack
Not flat on their back
Now they are getting their thrills


11~22~14
Contest: What’s up with Santa
Sponsor Jerry Curtis

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Lindsay Laurie

Date: 12/27/2014 5:32:00 PM

G'day... With the title, I wondered about what I may be going to read... and I was right. Ha-ha, well done Jan. Regards Lindsay

Jan Allison
Date: 12/27/2014 5:33:00 PM

I am known for my humour Lindsay - glad you liked my silly write:-) Hugs jan xxx

Rajat Kanti Chakrabarty

Date: 11/30/2014 12:36:00 PM

tricky sac, but blue pills? I can guess..right drop in the right place. Love Jan XXX rajat

Jan Allison
Date: 11/30/2014 1:01:00 PM

Thanks Rajat:-) Hugs jan xx

Timothy Hicks

Date: 11/25/2014 2:53:00 PM

Oh my gosh... so many innuendos. After reading this poem I glanced at your title, once more, with fresh insight. Clever wordplay and misdirection - comedy (as well as terror) is about surprise. Enjoyed the giggles :)

Jan Allison
Date: 11/25/2014 3:15:00 PM

I am getting well known for my humour Timothy! I am glad you appreciated the title - I think a clever title is as important as the body of the poem itself:-) hugs Jan xxx

Jenny Brewer

Date: 11/22/2014 8:31:00 PM

Ha ha ha/ or Ho Ho Ho,lol,Jolly good hun. xxx

Jenny Brewer
Date: 11/22/2014 9:10:00 PM

Oh tishhh toshhh. xxxx Big Hugs xxx

Jan Allison
Date: 11/22/2014 8:32:00 PM

LOl Thanks Jenny I do appreciate your support my friend - without you I wouldn't be here:-) Hugs Jan xxx

Maurice Yvonne

Date: 11/22/2014 3:11:00 PM

I didn't like being all the way at the bottom especially with Santa coming. Call me crazy but I just think there is something unsanitary about that.

Jan Allison
Date: 11/22/2014 3:13:00 PM

lol guess you prefer to be on top then:-) Hugs Jan xx

Kevin Leake

Date: 11/22/2014 2:38:00 PM

Hi Jan' Great write LoL made me smile. You have a way with words. Enjoyed. Good Luck Kevin

Jan Allison
Date: 11/22/2014 2:41:00 PM

I do try and write with humour when I can:-) Hugs Jan xx

Cona Adams

Date: 11/22/2014 2:25:00 PM

A really cute limerick, Jan. Good luck with the contest.

Jan Allison
Date: 11/22/2014 2:41:00 PM

Thanks Cona - I had fun with this one:-) hugs jan xx

Nette Onclaud

Date: 11/22/2014 12:55:00 PM

ending in a fun note.. really refreshing and witty, jan.. enjoyed.. huggs

Jan Allison
Date: 11/22/2014 12:59:00 PM

Thanks so much Nette:-) hugs Jan xxx

Jack Ellison

Date: 11/22/2014 12:54:00 PM

As Dan said, the title has a new meaning! LOL Love ya, girl! XXX

Jan Allison
Date: 11/22/2014 12:59:00 PM

LOL Jack I do try to be creative with my titles lol:-) hugs Jan xx

James Fraser

Date: 11/22/2014 11:01:00 AM

Love it Jan, keep em coming Girl, no pun intended, James :) xx

Jan Allison
Date: 11/22/2014 11:02:00 AM

ha ha ha James i was so wanting YOU to read this one lol:-) hugs jan xx

Dan Helppi

Date: 11/22/2014 9:28:00 AM

The title sure reads different now!

Jan Allison
Date: 11/22/2014 10:32:00 AM

lol Dan - yes you seem to be the first one to pick up on that - I do like to be creative with the titles lol:-) Hugs Jan xxx

Richard Lamoureux

Date: 11/22/2014 8:02:00 AM

Ha ha ho ho ho! Maybe Santa needs a ho or perhaps a bigger hose! This made me smile.

Jan Allison
Date: 11/22/2014 10:31:00 AM

You must get Mama Bear to read it Richard lol:-) Hugs jan xx

Sara Kendrick

Date: 11/22/2014 7:36:00 AM

Poor Santa all the stress had zapped his manhood..Reads like a winner ..Creative work..Way to go..Thanks for the visit to my page..Sara

Jan Allison
Date: 11/22/2014 10:30:00 AM

Thanks Sara:-) Hugs Jan xx

Paul Callus

Date: 11/22/2014 4:18:00 AM

Excellent content, Jan....especially the first limerick, overflowing with humour! Keep them coming! hugs // paul

Jan Allison
Date: 11/22/2014 4:50:00 AM

I tried to read the first 4 lines to Bob was laughing so much I couldn't even read it - the rest of the poem simply came to me lol:-) hugs jan xx

Dr. Upma A. Sharma

Date: 11/22/2014 12:48:00 AM

Great limerics Jan u hv come up with my friend! Gl in contest!

Jan Allison
Date: 11/22/2014 4:49:00 AM

Thanks Dr Sharma:-) Hugs Jan xx

Tim Smith

Date: 11/22/2014 12:27:00 AM

Lol...I hear blue is the new black...these are great Jan :)....hugs Tim

Jan Allison
Date: 11/22/2014 4:48:00 AM

Thanks Tim:-) Hugs jan xx

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 11/21/2014 8:49:00 PM

oh my, where do you come up with this stuff, Jan? Hahahaha. Impotent santa!! So funny. I will have to look up my drunk santa poem to enter into this one!!

Jan Allison
Date: 11/22/2014 4:48:00 AM

I wrote the first 4 lines Andrea i was trying to read it to my hubby but was laughing so much I couldn't talk - i guessed if I found it funny others would - the rest of it just flowed naturally lol :-) Hugs jan xx