Santa, Chubby Can't Hurry Down My Chimney Tonight
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Santa's stuck inside my chimney this year
His tummy's too big and so is his rear
I saw him hanging there
I'm filled with despair
Because on my roof are his eight reindeer
Rudolph's shiny red nose is much too bright
And it continues to blink through the night
It glows in my window
While Santa cries, "No, No No!"
They're both driving me nuts. It is my plight
Three days in and Santa's become smelly
No food should've slenderized his belly
No hearth fire can I burn
You'd think Santa would learn
To stay away from the North Pole Deli!
Finally, skinny enough to slip through
He quickly asked, "Where the heck is your loo?"
I pointed to the door
His pants dropped to the floor
I held my nose from the yucky stench... EWWW
I washed his suit until it was soot free
He thanked me for my hospitality
I had something for him
A gift card to a gym
What a weird Christmas it had been for me
There's one important thing I've left to do
Clear my backyard of all the reindeer poo
Four days worth of their s - - t
Made my yard a cess pit
I should've called a hazardous waste crew
I sent a letter north to tell Mrs. Claus
Why there were dark brown stains in Santa's drawers
I thought she should know
That when he had to go
Stuck in my chimney, chubbiness the cause
Copyright © Lin Lane | Year Posted 2023
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