Sanity

my sanity seems to unravel like frayed shoe-laces on a rainy day I keep tripping on in the mud but when I go to tie them I find myself barefoot rooted in an unsatiable lust for something other than reality a blood-letting of sorts a scream that dies before it escapes my throat my struggle is not one of boredom or regret rather a confusing mixture of powders, pills, and mind-control and some weird state of non-commital emotion a dark ocean of something mistakenly called anti-depression I’ve never really been in control but I fight with a might that might surpise you and win most battles and lose most wars realizing too late that I’m the only one keeping score another day of willing the sun to stay down to allow me to drown in a dreamscape of something greater inhibit my feelings or leave me alone this is something I’ll always fight alone