Saint Peyote of the Buttoned Down Shirt
Pray for us St. Mushroom of the Holy Sin
Keep our fingers free from sticky things
And safe from anxiety of the open hole
In the middle of the doughnut where it belongs
Deliver us twelve of them but spare the sugar tax
Sin grows in the dark so wickedly delicious
Bury us not without nutritional consideration
Or restrictions on our caloric intake please
Measure not our waistline figures without end
Have mercy on them
Bless us and deliver us from zippers
St. Peyote see fit to stitch our buttons tight
Teach us how to open the safe without explosives
To steal the contents and escape without notice
With shirts intact, fastened from top to bottom
Lost buttons are frowned upon downtown
Deliver us not into high fashion or traffic stops
Let not our mothers dress us funny after we grow up
St. Peyote, trust in us to feed the puppy only pizza
Without mushrooms. Leave them to us
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