Sadness

The memories come flooding back to you like a tsunami. You can't stop it. Your heart starts to race and head starts to pound. You just want to yell and cry but instead you look blankly up at your ceiling. You have no one to turn to. You are stuck, alone, in your own thoughts. And it starts eating you up inside. It doesn't stop and it doesn't allow you to breathe or think or feel. That is until you are nothing. You’re not a human being, you’re a pile of skin and bones. At one point in time you think that someone truly cares about you and understands you, Then all of a sudden you’re talking to a wall. They’re emotionless and cannot respond to you. This causes you to feel even more hopeless and alone. Is this all you’re ever going to feel? You start clawing at yourself, blaming your imperfections, Because why would it be anyone's fault other than your own? Your body is shaking and twitching. You can't tell if you’re mad at yourself or the world. You can’t make sense of the words inside your head. You can't tell anyone. They don't care. You have no control over your own life, And should just suck it up and deal with it, But you can't because you know that something will always be killing you inside. You hold onto things too strong. You would rather hurt yourself than someone else, Because why do you deserve to be selfish? You don't matter. You’re not that important. You lay, angry that he broke your heart. But when his name pops up on your phone you can't help but fall apart. He’s the one person who makes you feel even a little sane. Your mind might be a mess but somehow he makes everything feel alright. How can one person control that much of you? If you have no one else and they hurt you, you're broken. And why would anyone want something broken?