Sad Eclipses Christmas
My morning pierces my awake with grief’s thrust -
hitting me anew with the truth that he is gone.
Rising, I stagger thru cloudy bruises of disbelief
that I will never again be in his presence,
but must lifelong hold the need inside of grief.
I hear sobs break like tortured, soft tenders
and realize it’s me giving in to how hard this is.
Neither my feet or mind have concerns to move,
yet my child may need me to endure thru
Christmas do’s as I have always done before.
How do I move thru the most poignant day to miss
Dad, so prime in all past Christmas memories crafted?
In my life as infant, toddler, child, teen and woman,
he ensured magical Christmas moments.
I feel I’m drowning and trying to cope under water
where sadness-strikes stab one after the other.
He was just newly sixty-seven years,
yet already needed more in God’s heaven.
The one thought I grab is as a Christmas prayer that
I ever recall him as clearly as my heart feels him today.
... CayCay Jennings
December 14, 2018
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