Sad Eclipses Christmas

My morning pierces my awake with grief’s thrust - hitting me anew with the truth that he is gone.
Rising, I stagger thru cloudy bruises of disbelief that I will never again be in his presence, but must lifelong hold the need inside of grief. I hear sobs break like tortured, soft tenders and realize it’s me giving in to how hard this is. Neither my feet or mind have concerns to move, yet my child may need me to endure thru Christmas do’s as I have always done before. How do I move thru the most poignant day to miss Dad, so prime in all past Christmas memories crafted? In my life as infant, toddler, child, teen and woman, he ensured magical Christmas moments. I feel I’m drowning and trying to cope under water where sadness-strikes stab one after the other. He was just newly sixty-seven years, yet already needed more in God’s heaven.
The one thought I grab is as a Christmas prayer that I ever recall him as clearly as my heart feels him today.
... CayCay Jennings December 14, 2018
Copyright © | Year Posted 2018


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Date: 12/17/2018 5:40:00 PM
Hi CayCay, What a sad and poignant write. It brought tears to my eyes. It instantly brought back memories of my own dad.(my children didn't even get a chance to meet him) I miss him often but during the holidays I miss him even more. Congratulations on your 1st place win in the contest:-) Alexis
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Date: 12/17/2018 2:49:00 AM
- Many factors can make Christmas an extra heavy time - Congratulations on your winning poem, CayCay :) - Merry Christmas to you :) - hugs // Anne-Lise :)
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Date: 12/16/2018 7:45:00 PM
I am so happy to see this one win 1st Place CayCay. I know it is dear to your heart. Congratulations my friend! It is very deserving of the honor! : ) xxoo
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Date: 12/16/2018 5:37:00 PM
CayCay, congratulations on your win in my contest with this emotional write, it truly touched my heart as I miss my father also always but at Christmas the most, well done ~
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Date: 12/15/2018 12:02:00 PM
Hi Cay Cay, a wonderful tribute to your father at Christmas. This is one holiday when I really miss both my parents. Your poem so deeply touches on this feeling of loss and it does touch the heart deeply. It brings tears from this old farts eyes. This is such a beautiful poem . The emotions touch the soul. Have a wonderful weekend. hugs....Mike. XX
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CayCay Jennings
Date: 12/15/2018 5:56:00 PM
I feel you, Mike - the sincerity in your comments touched me (as though the poem weren't emotional enough!) and I can relate to you relating. Would like to hug you right now because I do, indeed, understand such parent-tears that are without end. Chin up and heart open, I say to us both, k? Affectionately ... CayCay
Date: 12/14/2018 8:52:00 PM
This is a very beautiful tribute to missing your dad CayCay. Christmas memories make it difficult not to feel the loss especially deep. Outstanding! : ) xxoo
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CayCay Jennings
Date: 12/15/2018 5:52:00 PM
Hugs, kisses and thank you's for you from me, here, there and everywhere! Love ... CayCay
Date: 12/14/2018 8:10:00 PM
Having both parents still- my heart counts the many blessings every day. Your thoughts tug deeply at my heart. This is beautiful and tender. Time heals all wounds, but sometimes those memories flood the soul. Merry Christmas CayCay. Many blessings to you. ~ Brandy
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CayCay Jennings
Date: 12/15/2018 5:52:00 PM
Thank you, Brandy, for such sweet comments. Make as many parent-memories as you can - I'm sure you're already aware of the importance in doing so. Good to have you on my page. All the best ... CayCay
Date: 12/14/2018 6:46:00 PM
What a wonderful tribute to your dad, CayCay, I can feel the deep emotions twenty years removed. Merry Christmas to you and yours my dear friend. John
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CayCay Jennings
Date: 12/15/2018 5:43:00 PM
Hello, dear John - so glad you read below so I don't have to explain yet again to ease concerns about my emotional state. I don't want anyone to worry. So glad you felt the emotion that was so easy to recall, so easy. All the best to you and Merry Christmas! CayCay
Date: 12/14/2018 6:00:00 PM
What a wonderful tribute you wrote CayCay. You touch hearts of many who have experienced the loss..and do so quite skillfully in verses that moved me. Hang on to your coping mechanism..especially in this holiday season. Well written poem, CayCay..a winning entry for the contest.
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CayCay Jennings
Date: 12/15/2018 5:40:00 PM
Vijay - I appreciate your presence and comments, love having both on my page pages. All the best to you, now and always ... CayCay
Date: 12/14/2018 5:35:00 PM
my deepest condolences... this touching poem reminds me of my dad who passed on at an early age too...poignantly beautiful, cay... huggs
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CayCay Jennings
Date: 12/14/2018 5:40:00 PM
Sweetie, I love you for saying such words, but please know I visited a Christmas 20 years past to write for the contest. I will NEVER stop missing my Dad, and it is way easy to recall the first days of grief, but the pain is now a tender and loving companion that allows Dad-recall to include a smile. So, you, too, are in the 'Dad Club' - I feel you and would love to hug you right now. All the best ... CayCay
Date: 12/14/2018 5:19:00 PM
He will always be in your heart, CayCay, and your poem brought tears to me because I know the feeling you describe so eloquently. On my father's 90th birthday, I commissioned a huge portrait of him and it is on the wall beside me much of the time. I don't want you to be sad, but perhaps having some images surrounding you will allow you to recall him clearly for a long time. Beautifully written and a sure winner. Hugs, Carolyn
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CayCay Jennings
Date: 12/14/2018 5:36:00 PM
I'm okay, Sweetie - God took him 20 Christmases ago and I can still picture him, hear his voice - my prayer was answered that no image of him ever dim. I cannot believe that I am now the age my Mom was when Dad died. I still have her, close by. I know now that you, too, are in the 'Dad Club' where all members well know the emotion involved. It's my hope people will focus more on the poem than the emotion, but no biggy as people will go exactly where they should .. all is in divine order. Poetry hugs ... CayCay
Date: 12/14/2018 5:10:00 PM
I can fully relate to this. Very well written :)
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CayCay Jennings
Date: 12/14/2018 5:17:00 PM
While I still miss my Daddy daily, I'm okay because it was 20 years ago (my gosh, can't believe it) that he made his transition. It wasn't a bit difficult to revisit my feelings the Xmas he died for Dear Heart's contest. So good to have your comments, Heidi. Poetry hugs ... CayCay
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