M. L. Kiser Poet Prose

Running

She chased me for a year before
there was any peace between us.
I knew it could happen; knew I was initiating it.
I couldn’t protect myself as a child;
swore that when I grew up; it would never happen again…
she didn’t believe me.

She began as a shadow; 
child sized and sporting a good disguise.
It took a while to figure it all out, 
still, She kept on chasing, hiding, threatening me.

I’m told that when you do your own therapy;
you must make peace with the child inside, but,
first, you have to learn how to recognize her.
She eluded me, disguised as a boy, then as other children;
even a little pirate wielding a sword at one point; 
when I got a bit too close.  
She was not about to tell me her secrets; 
I had to earn them; like her trust; a year long process.

I couldn’t protect her as a child,
so she felt that I couldn’t as an adult.
A constant menace inside of me; 
she led me into dark and empty places.

Alone and frightened; 
other shadows taunted and teased me.
I grew so tired of her tests, 
but, I knew that if I didn’t keep going;
I’d never win her trust.

In the end, it’s not the dreams that haunt you;
It’s your fears.

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