Rum n Raisin 19 - The Big Cheese

“What is it?” said Raisin. Rum said, “I don’t know, Let’s find us a hill and watch that thing go.” Walnut said, “Hold up; I’ve seen one of these, It looks like a wheel, but it is, in fact, cheese.” “It’s normally cut into portions to sell Whoever mislaid it will be mad as hell.” Rum said, “Are you saying this thing is food, It don’t smell like something that I ever chewed.” Raisin was tentative, sniffing it quick, “Crikey, it’s putrid… I wanna be sick.” Walnut said, “Mum and dad love it… I’m in.” He bit off a chunk and bits stuck to his chin. His eyes soon glazed over, and poor Walnut cringed “That stuff really packs quite a punch,” Walnut whinged He tried to suck cheese from his gums and he slobbered. “Boy that stuff’s sticky, my taste buds are clobbered"” A man in a chef’s hat and curled up moustache Came up and bellowed, “C’est Mon fromage!” Walnut said, “I think he’s after our cheese.” And Rum said, “For heaven’s sake, give him it…PLEASE!” The chef headed off with the cheese he’d mislaid While Walnut was praying the bad taste would fade Both Rum and Raisin had covered their noses Rum said, “You sure ain’t a bouquet of roses.” And so they walked home and at Raisin’s insistence Walnut was made to walk at quite a distance Rum said, “If anyone stands in our way, Your foul, rotten-egg breath will keep them at bay.” And so as they walked, ally cats let them be A woodpecker squawked and fell out of a tree A tree surgeon gagged and he might well have fled But the branch he’d been sawing fell down on his head A man on a bike steered it into a brook Pedestrians went to help out or just look They all jumped as one for the impulse was strong The brook seemed a good place to hide from the pong Once home, Walnut, Raisin and Rum had a doze Then woke to the sound of their mum’s sniffy nose She was knelt with her head in the washing machine… “There’s rancid socks somewhere… the stench is obscene!”