Rules On How To Write a Successful Poem For Poetry Soup
*1) "Tone it down" as much as I possibly can
- There could be children presently attending my rant
And I want them all to ask their folks
To buy my Poetry Book later this year;
So an enraged parent can organize
Synchronized book burnings
In honor of my accomplishments.
That same week (bank holidays notwithstanding)
I'll rerelease my book on vinyl record,
And then someone will have to find Dick Clark
Or we may never appreciate this joke
For the cultural value of "American Bandstand"
- If anyone can find Rod Serling, even better.
I wouldn't willingly lie to someone
Unless I was being paid a relative sum
To relieve my conscience
From the burdensome guilt
Of insulting another stupid audience
With the perfect choice of my own clever words...
...So I might as well be as honest with you
As I would with any of my ex-wives or their children:
I've always believed the "Twilight Zone"
Had far more cultural value...
...Though, it is true:
There was nothing more bizarre on television
Than "American Bandstand"
- Until "Soul Train" came along...
...If it's also true that "Society deserves its criminals"
Then we kinda deserved MTV for all of our troubles...
...How insatiable can peoples thirst
For consumerism possibly be!?
That they'd allow commercialism
To successfully convince them
To sit around their televisions
Watching others dance to a lip syncing band!?
Blinded by the sunshine of reification;
Through the sludgy sleet, rain or snow;
Despite personal hate, peace, love or war
- In the name of any false God
- Dance on you silly fools - Do the Danse Macabre...
*2) Try hard not to forget rule number one
- Like I've already forgotten the second rule.
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