Rough Past

Life of reconnecting with the times of my past That opened up the struggle with my memories But I can't focus On my weakness of my life because dueling on them Won't change anything. But causes battles with others I create battlegrounds have everyone on opposite sides. I know I don't need too but at times I struggle with allowing time Everyone is doing what they can to help me I just struggle with allowing time to past, to look at the bigger picture. The bigger picture gets foggy in the mirror. The mirror reflects what my mind wants to see not what is happening. Independence is my goal and I know that But taking the steps of independence is hard when my past haunts me. At times I look in my mirror and I see that others life is what I want I struggle to understand that I have goals and I could get to that point if I give it a chance. My chances are there...I reach and reach but I fall short. Other's strengths make me envious So i push and push to get what I want. But in the end it just sets me back. I always push too hard and sabotaged what I gain my life seam fall realization I looking for options and pressure myself because look too forward at may happen all on day but life has reopen of many options and many opinion that give that keep mind you may not like put keep mind that's the theirs and may not like others may say but that's okay because I have right to my say