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Rolling Dice

Days of endless struggle More hopeful pills today Trying to appear 'normal' In some sort of way. It seems that the struggle Is always here with me And I wouldn't be here now If guilt would leave me be I know there's been many Who've had it worse than I But that doesn't always mean That I wouldn't say good-bye People say I have a lot going for me I'm sorry, but I just can't see I can't see because my worst enemy Is not my life, but inside of me. Always on a roller coaster, Not much consistency I'm nothing if I'm not up or down I'm nothing if just 'me.' Very little energy Wanting to stay in bed Wishing to be enthusiastic Instead of feeling like I'm made of lead. Wanting to be excited Wanting to care for more But when nothing makes sense It's hard to focus on the poor. Cluttered mind, cluttered thinking It's hard to keep in touch With what is happening around me And not to worry too much. I feel that everybody is better than me And that I can't do anything right. This is how I've felt my whole dang life It didn't just start last night. No confidence, no self-esteem Everybody else is right To speak my mind is to be a fool So I just try to 'sit tight.' Any one of these problems Would be a heavy vice But when you have them ALL Living seems like a roll of the dice.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2018




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Date: 5/16/2018 8:46:00 PM
Very heavy, Daisy. Take it from someone who knows and cares. Life looks a whole lot different at twenty than it did at 16. When I was 30 it actually became a life. Now it's all good, even the past. I know about tough times. I was once a heroin addict. believe me, it gets a lot better.Keep writing! It's good for the soul and the phsyce' :)
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Date: 5/16/2018 2:06:00 PM
A very moving and disturbing poem that taps into the human psyche. A thought provoking shake your head, kind of poem. Nicely structured, well written with poetic flare. The poem has a message and delivers it well with good word choices. Emile.
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Book: Shattered Sighs