Robbers In My Room

In the night,
Two rogues entered my bed room
Flickering their glowing torches
Dancing every corner
On the ceiling 
On the floor 
On the mirror
Under the bed 
What is that they are searching? 
They do not know,
That they already have robbed my sleepy eyes
Finally I caught them and imprisoned in a jar
Copyright © | Year Posted 2013

Poem

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Morgan Avatar
July 25, 2013 at 8:19 AM
how deceptive, so elusive, very fleeting, your firefiles.
Lamoureux Avatar
July 4, 2013 at 7:10 AM
Change to "their glowing torches flickering" that way it can be construed as flashlight beams ( allows for alternate meaning.) Add a them after imprisoned. "What is it that they are searching for? "Adding those few small words clarify's your thought."One final suggestion I would repost the poem and I am sure you will be pleased with response. The new title grabs hold of the reader and adds a bit of deception, excellent choice.
Gunatillake Avatar
July 4, 2013 at 12:39 PM
Thank you so so so much
Lamoureux Avatar
July 3, 2013 at 4:36 PM
This is very good, I would consider changing the title to something else so that your audience has to guess and perhaps add a line at the end-- I capture my night thieves in a jar and set them on a shelf.
Gunatillake Avatar
July 3, 2013 at 9:00 PM
Thank you dear. taken your suggestion
Get a Premium Membership
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace