Home » Poems » Manel Gunatillake » Robbers In My Room

Robbers In My Room

In the night, Two rogues entered my bed room Flickering their glowing torches Dancing every corner On the ceiling On the floor On the mirror Under the bed What is that they are searching? They do not know, That they already have robbed my sleepy eyes Finally I caught them and imprisoned in a jar

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Danesh Morgan

Date: 7/25/2013 8:19:00 AM

how deceptive, so elusive, very fleeting, your firefiles.

Richard Lamoureux

Date: 7/4/2013 7:10:00 AM

Change to "their glowing torches flickering" that way it can be construed as flashlight beams ( allows for alternate meaning.) Add a them after imprisoned. "What is it that they are searching for? "Adding those few small words clarify's your thought."One final suggestion I would repost the poem and I am sure you will be pleased with response. The new title grabs hold of the reader and adds a bit of deception, excellent choice.

Manel Gunatillake
Date: 7/4/2013 12:39:00 PM

Thank you so so so much

Richard Lamoureux

Date: 7/3/2013 4:36:00 PM

This is very good, I would consider changing the title to something else so that your audience has to guess and perhaps add a line at the end-- I capture my night thieves in a jar and set them on a shelf.

Manel Gunatillake
Date: 7/3/2013 9:00:00 PM

Thank you dear. taken your suggestion