Rivers of Gold

"Rivers of Gold" Can't sleep thinking of what's to come Such a significant part of me has fallen ill Please God take me not her I pray on bended knee Selfishness conquers my fragile mind while dealing with inevitable truths Drinking to soothe the mind of all that is devastating Repressing the thoughts of living without you Laughing at naughty jokes to ease the tears that are streaming God please take me instead of her, not worrying of how the consequences would affect her Talking about what if's of doctors speech Knowing my opinion is all that matters on how we progress Feeling I am following the same path I'm unable to stop Progressively I do more and more so dreams are of sleep not pain Believing that tomorrows decisions are for the better not the worse Knowing either way only God makes the final decision I slam myself onto my knees forcing myself to pray in tears of pain I pray dear God allow my mother to live so she sees the rivers of gold not the oceans of heaven..