Ripping

I rip and chew at my edges Trying to eradicate Placate Eleviate My pain The anxiety The part of me that threatens to freeze My mental disease The part I hope no one sees The inner demons I wish to appease The tattoos that your artistry Injected Under my skin With invisible ink Yet I feel it there with the words I think As I claw and bite into my pink I wish to be smoothed out Cared about As the blood appears it calms my shout Exquisite pleasure wrapped in the pain With it, some level of relief I attain I tell myself I can't I won't do it again Yet with chewing I feel my inner turmoil wane The weaker bits The inner head stitches It helps me scratch, those indiscernible itches Stopping the soul twitches In shame I hide my hands Fingers and things The evidence my body sings Strategicly placed My problems kind of erased In fabric bandages encased Still desperation has a taste Inner turmoil only temporarily chased Was I designed for this Some kind of inner sickness Expressed in a serpent's kiss As I'm hypnotized by it's hiss I wonder Is there a way to fix this I wish to be a fully healed Calmer witness Perhaps this is my litmus Another test I fail For I'm a blind man Who can't read braille I'm bound by ropes That help me cope Evidence I can't wash away with soap I wanted your yes But always got your nope Became an inner pauper Surrounded by hope Still deep down I feel like a dope I know I have much to be thankful for Greatly blessed I can't ask for more Still I fear what might be waiting for me An imaginary enemy Hidden behind the next door Threatening my hope for a peaceful shore Still I know this inner tension is a gift It's a wave on which, I've been given a lift It helps me travel far and swift As within life's currents I hear the music shift. There is a tune I wish to sing Above the maddening ring A new place from which I wish to begin Beyond tattoos And cracked and bleeding skin. Peaceful rivers Flowing from within. Please read Njeri Unjeri's poem Tattoo's, after reading her poem I got to thinking of the tattoos that all of us wear. For Nathan's Mental Illness contest.