Richard the Third - a Poem Especially For Amelia

Amelia she loves to chat and tells an amusing story But dear readers BEWARE – this one’s a little gory She worked long hours at night as a barmaid It was a job she loved and good wages she got paid She’d had a busy day and her pits were a little whiffy So she had a little bath – it would only take a jiffy So into the bath Amelia got, she sank into the bubbles But this was only the beginning of Amelia’s troubles Amelia did a little fart but unfortunately followed through And in the bath was floating a little bit of poo Amelia got out quickly and left the bath to drain But unbeknown to her the turd it did remain She got dressed and ready to go - she had to get her lift To the pub she loved to work in she always enjoyed her shift With the customers Amelia was always a big hit She didn’t let on her secret that in the bath she’d done a little poop* But it was a Wednesday night and a quiz was on this day Amelia she loved this challenge and she would always play The final question stumped many people but they wanted to be the winner Which barmaid crapped in the bath tonight and could they name the sinner? The one in the white t-shirt some of the customers did shout Amelia went as red as a beetroot- she couldn’t wait to get out But the customers they did shout and cheer And poor Amelia had to pour them another beer Now Amelia no longer works in the bar She works as a receptionist – she’s really come far She loves her new job and always likes to talk But to stop her following through now she always wears a cork. · I had to change this from the S*** word as I know swearing is not allowed – but the expletive does make the poem flow better. Jan Allison 19th March 2014 ~submitted for contest Take 2 Free poetry contest sponsored by Nette Onclaud ~ - Unplaced in contest 'tickle my funny bone' sponsored by Francine Roberts ~ ~ Please see notes about this poem ~