Revving Up Life

Revving Up Life Half asleep by my window watching swirling snow outside - memories drift like a slide show, pictures of my youth so long ago, almost as real to me today as the events were then. Snippets of childhood – I am three, stung by a bee, James plastering mud on my arm, soothing the pain, happy smiles again. At nine, a fall from monkey bars – oof! – on my stomach. Can’t breathe. Will I die? Love hits me at thirteen, racing pulse when he’s near, breathless as he walks me home from school. I am delirious. But we break up, and I am broken-hearted. Life is over - my stomach knots. I hide in my room and weep. Seventeen, a picnic planned with a new boyfriend. It pours! We spread a blanket under a bridge - damp, silly, and happy. College years and a formal dance, satin gown, disco ball, big band, our bodies pulse with youth as we hold each other close. In my twenties I marry. Problems. Was it a mistake? Romance has cheated me. Is everything my fault? I feel wrong and resent it. Counseling for both of us. We struggle through and find love we thought was lost. Years pass, children, then grandchildren spilling joy and sometimes angst into our lives as they grow and become individuals. I am old now. Life, like me, slower – am I sad or happy? I choose to be joyful. I smell scents of the seasons, autumn bonfires, roast turkey, Christmas greens, mince pies, spring flowers, summer barbecue. Bitter winter winds chap my lips, spring breeze gentles my face. Memories swarm like fireflies, rev up my recalcitrant self!