Retirement Planning

Retirement planning may feel like civilian re-entry planning as from-above ballistics continue heavy incoming so persuasively my objective is not to win outside but to get home safe again inside, although I sadly know home will never be that home of memory sustained as comparative compass for peace resiliently regained. What is my therapeutic vocational problem retiring from front-line maddening trenches? How much remaining spacetime do I have, does Earth have, for living rather than dying, and why does this feel so spare time often mere despairing, and why "spare" and why "mere"? Despite books and perhaps entire libraries on human purpose, meaning, ethology of nature, ecology for dynamic spirits, callings for proper industry, organic integrity of humane function, whether blessed by divine inspiration or mere humane perspiration (and, again, why "mere"?) I find too precious this my footnote of non-historic fair proportion that my vocation may not truly ever self-optimize through individual ongoing autonomous discernment, But also through healthier, more robust, fabric interdependent cooperative democratically woven of loving WinWin future society CoDefining culture having let go of refining Win/Lose evolutionary violence investment theories in favor of overwhelming healthy regenerative retiring revolutions of Earth's slower-grown WinWin therapies. This is not Weber's mechanical society; Retiring histories are more mysteriously woven like an organic beehive ornamenting a strong-rooted universal tree, or an ant colony preparing for winter within an ancient-grounded sanctuary society for future multiculturing creolizing enchanted colonies. What happens when we retire into a newly autonomous vocational choice? When all prior spacetime investments appear to have been apprenticeships toward what? Dying? Living with more freedom for integrity and WiseElder slow-grown discernment? We are so hard-pressed to say and do and be wise serpents for internal and external peace when all our training has been for Win/Lose crucifying battles I struggle to prepare for extending family love in ever more autonomous isolation from new life invitations. What does my environment, our climate, my climatic experience, our story about social health development still respect and hope for loving, yet active, communion peace? How do we call and gather elders and children together to restore this profoundly interactive peace inside as outside as inside Earth's justice re-uniting integrity toward universal love and away from nationalistic tribalistic violent hate? Where do secular models and sacred maps together tipping point toward personal messages and political messengers and economic and ecological and theological healthy meaning today, rooted in all our civilian yesterdays with hope for this next healthy regeneration already waiting within these aging bones and eyes for climate healing within as without, below as above, inhaling old impoverished retributions exhaling new health restorations peaceful home Retiring developments of active hope, remaining positive energy, non-violent doing, being, non-sectarian communicating, non-partisan praying, experiencing, medicating, meditating, healing, living to continue breathing in dying to breath enrichment out once more.