Rest In Peace Pauline

It doesn't seem real, someone please tell me this is a joke I'm sorry for being selfish, but I wasn't ready for you to go I'll always hold dearly all of the advice you gave to me For the past 5 years you were the Mum that my birth giver wasn't able to be I need to be alone, I'm not approachable yet I won't apologize for being an emotional wreck If I could cry, my eyes would be filled My hand is shaking, apologies bartender, for the Vodka I spill You were my mums neighbour, you'd invite me in for a cup of tea daily I'd do your shopping, then we'd chat and you'd ask about my current ladies You knew I had a few but you never judged, you just said you hope I find one to settle down with And that for me to be able to catch love, I have to be around it We'd discuss the world's issues and put them right between me and you I'd give anything to speak to you one last time I can't believe I'll no longer be seeing you Your voice replays in my mind Someone Please tell me this is a joke I don't get I beg you to tell me this is something I didn't understand Someone ask the bartender if there's any vodka left As a matter of fact, forget it, I need a hug and someone to take my hand You were the mother that mine couldn't be You were my birth givers neighbour, little did I know you'd become such a good friend to me I apologize because this isn't the best Tribute that's been sent out But I really cared when one more light went out I haven't cried in years, yet here I am with my eyes filled Smudged words, from tears falling on the pad and Vodka spilled Rest in Peace Pauline, I'm sending these words hoping they hug you Thank you for everything, I'll always love you