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Abuse, of any kind, is unacceptable no matter what “good” comes from it.

Abusive, you
Lyrically expendable

You set my heart ablaze
At the peak of your animosity

Your apologies lingered amongst the masses
Sharing your ovarian milestones
Within your visceral declarations

Descending unto the bosom of guilty disgust
I recall those thrusts of loving remorse
As you latched onto my handsome errors
Deeply
Begging
To be my future

You got your wish.

Mother’s Dearest wisdom became the sentence that now
Imprisons our sun
Light
Shattering rainbow coated sins
At the cost of humanity’s violent song

You had the last word.
You win, my dear silver medal.

I was beautiful.
The attraction of a stalker’s 4th eye
As you prodded my truths
Slow danced with these lies

I became marked with the cold kiss of God’s wrath. 
Yesteryear became my final stand against your psychological combat

You stole my innocence
As you glorify your irradiated sunrise
Your self-esteem digging holes in the dirt

But, I was the flirt.

You would sing to the heavens
About how much you loved my all
As you ridiculed the way I walked, I talked
Oh, how you viciously assaulted my identity

You fought for me
Because you lacked another to fight against

I will pray that you never cross my path.

I would wish you well.

But, that’d be a lie
Which means now you’ll believe me

I chose you over Father Figure, as you screamed, threatened, the safety of our world.

But, I didn’t love you.

I ached to hold you closer as you battered & attacked my brains unto oblivion.

But, I didn’t love you.

I kissed you in the name of hopeful forgiveness,
As you frolicked in one-night stands with speculation

But, I didn’t love you.

Phone calls not allowed to last under 30 minutes 
For I wasn’t giving enough to our cause.
So, I stayed
As you belittled me with backhanded compliments & flirtatious apologies

But, I didn’t love you.

I was a screw up before I woke up, still I would call you each morning
For you were my sunrise

BUT, I DIDN’T LOVE YOU!

…

Could I ever find my innocence again?

For I now carry lifetime burdens
A payment plan I can never refinance
As you walk freely with your disemboweled victories

One day
My sun
Will arrive
And I will smile again
I will find my sincerity within the storm.

I will no longer be almost beautiful
I will no longer be almost beautiful.

©D.J.E.

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Mystic Rose Rose

Date: 10/24/2018 11:01:00 AM

Your poetry is always so very good. Timeless I might add. Have a great day dear poet.

Poet Tacito
Date: 10/24/2018 11:14:00 AM

I appreciate that, Pixie. Thanks very much. Cheers to you.

Kai Michael Neumann

Date: 4/8/2018 5:58:00 AM

Wow, that is powerful and you got it off your chest, for the time being of writing. I hear that the poem was difficult to write. And it is 'difficult' to read, but so necessary. Many wishes to you and a peaeful journey Kai

Poet Tacito
Date: 4/9/2018 11:29:00 AM

Indeed, I did. It needed to be said. Many thanks, Kai.

Laura Breidenthal

Date: 3/17/2018 1:32:00 AM

"I will find my sincerity within the storm." Deep, pain-stricken hope in those lines. I feel like this whole poem should be spoken, shouted on a stage. It has that monologic, monomaniac grief, passion to it. This one blows me away. If I didn't have time to think it through and someone spoke these words to me, I'd probably be speechless and burst into tears or something. "You fought for me Because you lacked another to fight against"- there's definitive truth in the hurt always, Laura

Poet Tacito
Date: 3/18/2018 8:57:00 PM

This was a very hard writing for me. But, it was important for a multitude of reasons to get it on paper. I can only hope, hope, hope that I never have a reason to write something like this ever again. Thank you so very much for stopping by again, Laura!!!