Bill Maceachern | + Follow Poet |
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Remnants of Ma

I really didn’t know my mother
I knew her moods
But, I didn’t know her
And I really don’t think she knew her children 
She knew our names...mostly 
But, she didn’t know us
I know my mother loved singing
I heard my mother sing
"How much is that doggie in the window”
And
One of my favorites
"Charming Billy"
I know she liked to cook
I know she read The Godfather and Valley Of The Dolls
I know she liked having a party
I know family holidays STRESSED her out
I know she had many friends
I know she drank a lot
I know she went out a lot
I know she drank and went out a lot with her many friends
I know she had many blackouts
I know she could go from very pleasant to wicked mean, instantly, especially when drinking
I know that she hated my father 
I think she hated my father for not doing what needed to be done to make it all work out
I think maybe she resented her sons for being his sons
I know my mother was brutalized by her father
I know my mothers father followed my mother wherever she went as a teen because he didn’t trust her
I know my mothers father called her terrible names that a father should not call a daughter
I know that my mother married an alcoholic who gambled too much and beat her for his own sins
I wish I knew other things instead of these things about my mother
But...
I know my mother would have liked me to remember other things too...

Copyright © Bill Maceachern | Year Posted 2018

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Caren Krutsinger Date: 12/10/2018 8:16:00 PM This is such a terrifically heart-felt missive, I feel like I have peeked into your heart, and your mother's. It is not often that a poem does that for me. It is a WOW for me in every single way, my friend. WoW! I cannot stop saying WOW! Login to Reply Bill Maceachern Date: 12/10/2018 9:09:00 PM Thank you so much Caren, it’s the cycle passed on and on, some links break free and thrive more than others. My Ma died at 46, I went to wake her and couldn’t. I was 19 at the time, had the funeral, i whispered to my mothers sister that I was going to quit drinking.... I went on a year long binge instead, ending with my arrest for Drunk Driving. I stayed sober for 5 years, then let my guard down, this went back & forth throughout my life, I’ve been sober for 7 years now... Yes, I know my mother didn’t want what she got or gave.

Bill Maceachern Date: 11/25/2018 3:45:00 PM A comment has not been posted for this poem. Encourage a poet by being the first to comment.?? Login to Reply