Refugee

When coming to, and arriving in, Cali, August of 2008, I felt like a refugee. Seeking a city of refuge, Sacramento, wondering if my healing would be allowed here. Healing from inflicted damages, from over 10 years of vast and extreme traumas, that should never have been allowed. Trauma upon trauma, and the multifarious abuses, along with the insults and mockery that they added to the injuries. Spiritually and emotionally wounded and sliced the freak up, physically...huhhh... Seeking the balance, the stability, that that hell-hole screwed off. Seeking so much more, humane treatment to start with; I have since been disappointed, many times. Seeking a decent atmosphere, other than just when around family, or at a few bars, where the people are far better than most... Should have already been working at a full time job, for an employer that doesn't demean and tread upon employees. Should have already been renting my own apartment, a place of my own... A place to settle in, to decorate to my comfort, and possibly, to feel at home... Like I actually expect to ever feel at home again, considering what all those beeches did, to me and my children, in our own home. And how the police would never protect us, never let me press charges against the trespassers, and how the "human services" were unimaginably inhumane as hell... How inhumane people can be in places of authority or position, much less, have awesome reputations, is backwards as hell. As my Babies' Daddy used to say, "What's really goin on?" And how could such foul-ass bs be allowed? And who the hell do they think they are? That they believe they can hurt people for their enjoyment, from their self-superiorness, or from their malicious motives? And be in the right?