Red Rum

O, come to our feast, Suspend your drinking laws, We've plenty of the Beast, Guffaw! Guffaw! Guffaw! This Beast is called Red Rum- It's very potent, too. Those who drink it-numb, Their conscience runs askew! It's the lifeblood of our Cause, A right, a guarantee. Our product has no flaws- 'It' wasn't meant to be! Our Cause is such a lofty one, The choice of all Elite, Sovereigns have a lot of fun, Red Rum is such a treat! Red is our sign of victory, Rum has the taste of bliss, Freedom is our revelry, A blessed drunkeness! Red will mean a sacrifice, But necessary is our choice, Rum itself will not suffice, Rejoice! Rejoice! Rejoice! Who hails from yonder pew, To argue for a life? The thing is mere tissue, Why cause us undue strife? I have found your logic crude, You morals, very rude! Personally, you're a prude. And, I'm really not in the mood! "You have 'it' backwards, dude!"