Raining Again

“This circus is falling…” It’s circa 1997; I’m in Charlotte, NC It’s a 13-week consulting gig, my longest ever I come home every few weeks Long days at the customer site A hostile environment; they don’t really want us there A server vendor is trying to make inroads at a bank I’m there working for the vendor After a long day, a swing by Harris Teeter: pre-packaged dinner and beer “The big top is crumbling down” And so is my life Evenings are spent hunched over a laptop in a dark 1 bedroom efficiency Programming late into the night Until the eyes are too tired And the beer has run out Music is a constant companion, most of it, soulful, sorrowful, some upbeat. Counting Crows, Matchbox 20, Sting “These train conversations” Are truly passing me by No coworkers here. No family here No interactions with anyone outside of work Just a call home early enough in the evening that the words aren’t slurring too badly yet “And I don’t have nothing to say” Just ache I want to be home I miss my wife I miss my kids I miss my dog “You get what you pay for” They are paying me well I’m getting all the overtime I want. I am piling away the money for a nice trip to St. Thomas For all of us When I get home And I don’t care; I just want out “But I just had no intention of living this way” Warp forward to today Life could not be any more different Life is wonderful, life is good I have purpose I have meaning I have family I have love I know and am known by God I’m working out in the barn I’ve hooked up the old stereo I see the “August and Everything After” CD and I fire it up I set it on “Raining in Baltimore” “I need a phone call, I need a plane ride I need a sunburn, I need a raincoat” And for a brief flash, I am back at that dinette table Alone, in the dark And terribly lonely When it is uplifting, music causes our spirits to soar But it can put you right back in a particular place In a particular time And that’s not always a good thing “But what would you change if you could?” Uh, August and Everything After… click. ———— Quotes are from “Raining in Baltimore” off the “August and Everything After” album by Counting Crows