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Notes About The Poem

~ Fifth Place ~
Premiere Contest: No 1233 New Poem Only
Sponsor: Brian Strand

July 30, 2023

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Rain

lightsabers slash skies 
cold front goads humidity —
the black night bleeds rain

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Darlene De Beaulieu

Date: 4/28/2025 11:51:00 AM

Hello Susan, I like the way you describe the sky. then describe the rain in the black sky bleeding. Warmth wishes /Darlene/

Susan Ashley
Date: 5/1/2025 12:18:00 PM

Dear Darlene, thank you for your beautiful comments. I'm so glad you enjoyed how I described the sky. Your thoughts are precious, my sweet friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Jack Horne

Date: 6/5/2024 6:59:00 AM

As always, I read your work in awe - truly amazing write in just three lines, my friend x

Susan Ashley
Date: 6/7/2024 6:41:00 PM

Dear Jack, it's always a delight when your visit my page. I am encouraged and uplifted by your wonderful response to my humble poem. Thank you, my inspiring friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Howard Kerr

Date: 4/15/2024 9:43:00 PM

Dear Susan, there is absolutely no need to apologise whatsoever. My main concern was for you to receive my comments on your superb work. A reply is always optional. As for the above piece in my view it is a stunning masterpiece in a very concise challenging form Kind regards Howard

Susan Ashley
Date: 4/16/2024 7:33:00 AM

Dear Howard, thank you for sharing your gracious thoughts with me. I truly appreciate your lovely visit. I am inspired and humbled by your wonderful remarks regarding my poem, indeed, they are treasured. Warmest wishes my poetry friend.. ~Susan

Paul Callus

Date: 10/7/2023 4:17:00 AM

This poem is strikingly beautiful, Susan, but is too rich to don the humble cloak of a haiku! ~ Warm regards & Hugs, my friend // paul

Susan Ashley
Date: 10/9/2023 5:56:00 PM

It’s funny how Abandoned Dreams came to mind right away after you suggested the tristich poetry form. I’m so glad you’re in agreement with changing the form for that piece. If I’m an ideal student it’s only because you’re more than an ideal mentor!:) I hate the heavy head feeling of sinus congestion.. please feel better soon my dear friend. With appreciation, warmest wishes and hugs.. ~Susan

Paul Callus
Date: 10/8/2023 12:18:00 PM

I have revisited your 'Abandoned Dreams' and left a short note. I am in agreement with choice of form :) My cold is not as bad; it's the heavy head that needs to relent a bit!! Warm regards & Hugs (to my ideal student :) // paul

Susan Ashley
Date: 10/8/2023 8:35:00 AM

Dear Paul, my poetic friend and mentor, thank you for your return visit and valued insight. With appreciation, I continue to learn from you. After reading your reply and looking at the definition of a tristich, I feel like your suggestion is on point. I also feel like that tristich fits another poem, Abandoned Dreams, as well. So sorry to hear of your cold and sinus discomfort, I hope you feel better very soon my inspiring friend. Warmest wishes and hugs... ~Susan

Paul Callus
Date: 10/7/2023 1:11:00 PM

Hi...back again :) Verse would be good, but personally I'd say "A Tristich", which is defined as 'a complete poem in three lines'. Now I'm off to bed...this cold & sinus has taken a liking to me, but I won't reciprocate it!! :) Goodnight and hugs // paul

Susan Ashley
Date: 10/7/2023 8:35:00 AM

Dear Paul, it's wonderful to see you! Your shining presence has been missed. Thank you, my friend, I am inspired by your esteemed thoughts. Originally, this poem was written for a haiku contest and sadly, it was N/A'd by the haiku sponsor.. If not the humble cloak of a haiku, then what garment would this little poem wear? A free verse frock, maybe? I'm not sure, but your further insight would be appreciated :) Warmest wishes and hugs.. ~Susan

Karen Croft

Date: 10/3/2023 6:13:00 PM

My kind of storm! Thank you for your comment. I love visiting the UP. They have the most waterfalls in the US.

Susan Ashley
Date: 10/3/2023 6:18:00 PM

Hi Karen, I do enjoy a good storm! Thank you for your visit and wonderful comments. I’ve never been to the UP but your lovely poem makes me want to go :) You’re welcome for my comment, it was a pleasure to read you. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Abdullah Alhemaidy

Date: 9/20/2023 9:25:00 PM

Hello dear Susan, frightening rain! Have a nice day with my best wishes and congrats :-)

Susan Ashley
Date: 9/20/2023 9:39:00 PM

Dear Abdullah, indeed our summer thunderstorms can be a frightening and flash-flooding event. But your gracious visit brings nothing but a sunny day of delight. Thank you, my friend, for your kindness and congrats. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Deb M

Date: 9/1/2023 9:50:00 PM

I love the rain and l love this poem….a powerful last line (which stayed in my head) “black night bleeds rain” intriguing write Susan Debx

Susan Ashley
Date: 9/2/2023 9:13:00 AM

Dear Deb, I love the rain too :) I'm so glad you enjoyed my poem. Your valued thoughts are treasured. Thank you my friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Paula Goldsmith

Date: 8/29/2023 11:46:00 AM

Congratulations on your win. I enjoyed reading your "Rain" write. We need some rain. I love to hear the sound of rain. Have a great day with your win............

Susan Ashley
Date: 9/2/2023 9:12:00 AM

Dear Paula, thank you for the delight of your visit. Your wonderful comments and kind congrats are appreciated. I hope you get some rain soon my friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Michelle Faulkner

Date: 8/12/2023 11:54:00 AM

Glad I found this one also, so evocative of the mystic of lightning and bleeding rain, congratulations on your win with this small beauty~

Susan Ashley
Date: 8/21/2023 12:10:00 PM

Dear Michelle, I'm so delighted by your visit! Thank you for your precious comments and kind congrats. Both are deeply appreciated. I'm so pleased to know you enjoyed my poem. Warmest wishes my inspiring friend.. ~Susan

Akkina Downing

Date: 8/11/2023 8:32:00 PM

Congratulations on your 1st place win, my fabulous poetess :)

Susan Ashley
Date: 8/12/2023 9:43:00 AM

Dear Kina, thank you for your gracious appearance on my poem's page and for your heartwarming congrats! Your shining spirit cast a golden glow upon my humble poem and my appreciative heart. Warmest wishes and hugs lovely poetess.. ~Susan

Sneha Rv

Date: 8/8/2023 4:20:00 AM

what a vivid haiku with some suggestion... I feel the chills as well

Susan Ashley
Date: 8/9/2023 12:08:00 PM

Dear Sneha, it's so wonderful to see you! Thank you for your inspiring visit and lovely comments. I'm pleased to know that my haiku affected you with chills.. the thunderstorm experienced gave me chills too! I cherish your thoughts. Warmest wishes, sweet poetess and friend.. ~Susan

Heidi Sands

Date: 8/7/2023 12:00:00 PM

Powerful poem. Well written Susan :)

Susan Ashley
Date: 8/7/2023 6:34:00 PM

Dear Heidi, your visit is a delight! Thank you for your wonderful comments. Warmest wishes my friend :) ~Susan

Timothy Ray

Date: 8/6/2023 11:19:00 PM

this made me hunger for those violent desert thunderstorms, another aspect is my admiration for those who can write in forms as i am so dependent on the moments' inspiration when the muse takes me into her arms....kind of codependent i guess....loved it Susan, memory-evoking images in every line

Susan Ashley
Date: 8/7/2023 6:33:00 PM

Dear Timothy, your visit is heartwarming. I enjoy the thought-provoking spirit of your reflective comments. I'm pleased to know this poem evoked memories for you, and I feel that all soulful poets are beautifully codependent with their muse. Moments of poetic inspiration are some of life's very best moments. As always, your visit inspires me, my friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Kim Merryman

Date: 8/5/2023 8:03:00 PM

I love the imagery in your haiku, Susan! Congrats on your win! Blessings, Kim M

Susan Ashley
Date: 8/6/2023 9:02:00 AM

Dear Kim, thank you for your kind words. I'm so glad to know you enjoyed my haiku. Your sweet congrats are a joy to receive. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Michael Tor

Date: 8/5/2023 2:08:00 PM

Susan such a unique play on words. Bleeding rain such a creative concept. Clever as always Susan. Congratulations on a well deserved win. Thank you for stopping by to read my birthday wish to my daughter... God bless you...

Susan Ashley
Date: 8/6/2023 9:00:00 AM

Dear Michael, it's wonderful to see you! Your gracious comments and heartwarming congrats are deeply appreciated. I hope you daughter had a fantastic birthday! Thank you, my friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 8/5/2023 12:36:00 PM

wow, a very well deserved win.

Susan Ashley
Date: 8/6/2023 8:58:00 AM

Thank you, Andrea. Your heartwarming words and visit are appreciated. Warmest wishes my friend.. ~Susan

Brian Sambourne

Date: 8/4/2023 1:20:00 PM

An excellent Haiku, Susan. Image sharp, cliche free - just top notch writing that truly captures a humid summer's rain. Congratulations! Brian

Susan Ashley
Date: 8/5/2023 8:46:00 AM

Dear Brian, it's wonderful to see you! Your gracious visit is a delight as are your inspiring comments. Like you, I strive to be cliche free in my poetry and it is heartening to know that you appreciate my efforts in that regard. Thank you for sharing your treasured thoughts and kind congrats. I hold them in gratitude alongside your friendship. Warmest wishes, dear friend.. ~Susan

Bill Baker

Date: 8/3/2023 5:09:00 PM

An exquisite Haiku, Susan, A FAV for my list, my friend. You presented us with alliteration, eloquent imagery and a very creative closing line. "the black night bleeds rain", is beautiful to me. Your choice of words in such a short poem is representative of the fine poet you are. Thanks for sharing your gift of poetry with us here at Poetry Soup, Bill

Susan Ashley
Date: 8/4/2023 7:22:00 AM

Dear Bill, I relish your wonderful response to my haiku! Thank you for your inspiring words and gracious visit. I'm so pleased to know you especially enjoyed the last line! I am humbled and honored by both your poetic friendship and your fav. Warmest wishes my friend.. ~Susan

Ann Gilmour

Date: 8/3/2023 9:39:00 AM

Loved your Haiku Susan and congratulations on a well deserved win... with kindest thoughts Ann xx

Susan Ashley
Date: 8/3/2023 9:28:00 PM

Dear Ann, I’m so pleased to know you enjoyed my poem. Thank you for your lovely comments and heartwarming congrats. Warmest wishes my friend.. ~Susan

Sara Kendrick

Date: 8/3/2023 4:10:00 AM

Very good description of the event. I am glad you got rain without the bad weather that can come with it. We need rain but still none with this latest system. Thanks for sharing this one and for dropping by my page. Sara

Susan Ashley
Date: 8/3/2023 8:50:00 AM

Dear Sara, indeed, things are dry here too and we could use more rain for sure. Hopefully tomorrow we will see some beneficial rain as storms form to our west and slide east. Thank you for you wonderful comments and visit. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Regina Mcintosh

Date: 8/3/2023 3:08:00 AM

Wonderful haiku. Congrats and much love, God bless you, Susan, Love, Gina

Susan Ashley
Date: 8/3/2023 8:48:00 AM

Dear Gina, it's wonderful to see you! Your lovely comments and heartwarming congrats are deeply appreciated. Thank you, my inspiring friend. Warmest wishes, love and hugs.. ~Susan

Sotto Poet

Date: 8/2/2023 8:31:00 AM

My dear friend, your prowess knows no bounds. Though the haiku's brevity belies its profundity, you artfully encapsulate rich metaphors within its concise construct. I am of the firm belief that your creation stands as an exceptional gem among its peers, deserving of its rightful place atop the roster of winners.

Susan Ashley
Date: 8/2/2023 6:04:00 PM

Dear Lasaad, it's wonderful to see you! Thank you for your generous appraisal of my poem. Your thoughtful comments are held in my deepest appreciation, as is your poetic friendship. I am both humbled and honored by your kindness, my friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Robert Lindley

Date: 7/31/2023 5:33:00 AM

You my friend are amazing , even with so few verses you put so much within. This is one of the very few haiku that I am adding to my fav list. God bless you.

Robert Lindley
Date: 8/13/2023 7:31:00 AM

I was in the mood to write a couple haiku today. So, I came back to read your masterpiece , hoping for inspiration my dear friend. God bless you.

Susan Ashley
Date: 8/1/2023 4:46:00 PM

My dear friend, your inspiring comments are received with my truest appreciation. Thank you, Robert, for your poetic friendship and for the high honor of your fav. I'm so glad that you found my haiku worthy. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

John Lawless

Date: 7/30/2023 7:04:00 PM

this is WICKED PISSA Susan, that's one level above the WICKED AWESOME LEVEL

Susan Ashley
Date: 8/1/2023 4:43:00 PM

Haha! Such a wicked cool comment, John! Thank you for your Bostonian-style endorsement. I wicked appreciate it! Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Tom Woody

Date: 7/30/2023 10:49:00 AM

Powerful haiku with a senryu sensibility. Nature is letting mankind know she ain't happy, though we occasionally see relief. Very nice

Susan Ashley
Date: 8/1/2023 4:41:00 PM

Dear Tom, your comment is truly appreciated. I agree that Nature is seething and we only have ourselves to blame. Thank you for sharing your valued thoughts. Warmest wishes.. ~Suze

Rain

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