Questioning Me

that moment you begin to wonder why or what's the point an you slow start to look at the whole picture an realize that. that someone can keep telling you they care but the actions are showing otherwise an its been that way for a while but it took you a while to realize an you start blaming yourself because maybe things would be different if I never opened up if I never showed I cared if I wouldn't have slowly piece by piece took down that wall I've built over many years to learn to trust again and that this is my fault because I loved this person on purpose because I felt a connect that I thought would be there no matter what ... then I realize this was my fault from the beginning because I should've know this would happen it happens all the time with everyone it was me wanting to trust wanting to love wanting to feel safe an happy an have that secure feeling in my life that I haven't had in a long time that im safe an no one will hurt me an everything's going to be ok ... now when I look in the mirror I dnt even know who I see anymore its not that I don't like who's looking back at me its just idk who she is anymore she so broken an physically mentally and emotionally scarred she's damaged to the point its no way she ever be fixed ...now when I look at her the question comes to mind an I ask her who am I she look back an let out a tear as the mirror slowly shatters an screamed NO ONE AN THATS ALL YOULL EVER BE!!