Ptsd I Don'T Want To Sleep

I know I'm really tired
I just don't want to sleep
I guess I'm just really wired
Dreams will make me weep

I'm scared to see those things and sounds
Locked deep inside my brain
Make me sweat and wriggle around
Makes me think that I'm insane

Rational thinking is the cure
Its easier said than done
When your thoughts are so obscure
Rationality is to far gone

Stay awake with my relief 
Is the action I shall do
My inner thought bare belief
Share them all with you

Anger resentment on oneself
Is a starter just for ten
Nice and calm me sat on the shelf
It's happening all too often

Guilt that burns within ones soul
Is hotter than volcano lava
Need to find the deepest hole
And cool it like a bottle of cava

Worthlessness is another one
But how can this be the case
For advice i give to everyone
But I can't keep up the pace

Failure is the biggest thing
It hits you like a rock
Needing help is so belittleing
You want to crawl into a sock

I could of said an obscenity 
In that last verse of course
But this I say with sincerity 
I will get back on my horse 

These feelings now I've let out
Are because I'm so upset
So I write in form or shout
To be infront of the net

Glad to be on this mortal coil
Walk head high once again
Get sleep at night with no spoil
Black dog inflict no pain

Goodnight "sleepwell"
Copyright © | Year Posted 2019

Poem

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Bowkis Avatar
January 20, 2024 at 10:47 AM
I have never experienced situations such as armed forces or other front line public service positions that potentially expose people to events that affect people mentally in the form of PTSD. However i do have some form of mental health issue that places a lot of my writing in that dark space. Although I cannot obviously feel what you feel, I can empathise. The writing helps bring a little peace sometimes, just getting it of my chest. I wish you Peace.
Duraiswami  Avatar
January 17, 2024 at 7:36 AM
I am a soldier myself, an Officer of the Indian Army Medical Corps and a Paratrooper. I can identify with your thoughts and poetry. Beautiful! *The Futility of War* Conflict between nations Is totally insane. Everyone is a loser; Nobody ever gains. Cities annihilated, Innocent lives are lost. Economies in disarray; Immense human cost. Death knows no religion; Tragedy knows no race. Politicians play their games, Cynicism on their face. Let us stop senseless bloodshed. Let us find a way ahead. God save the human race! Colonel Ramanan Duraiswami, AMC 21 October 2023
Rodrigues Avatar
April 10, 2019 at 7:15 PM
Poetry is cathartic... I read of your pain, which I can’t imagine. Peace to you.
Alexander Avatar
April 11, 2019 at 12:06 PM
Thankyou Kim for your kind words and encouragement xx
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