Psychoanalysis: a Touch of Insight

I relaxed on the couch to feel at ease, 
the psychiatrist sat across from me.
This wasn’t any normal physician- 
He was my subconscious personified.

A flow of panic surged through my body-
Beads of sweat slowly trailed down my face-
My heart began beating erratically-
My eyes darted in search of an exit-
There wasn’t an exit available!

The sense of fear was running down my spine, 
I’m trapped within the walls of my own mind
taunted by the horrors that lie within.
The psychiatrist peered through my file 
his eyes scrutinized every incident. 
I coughed to break the silence in the room,  
but it still constricted the atmosphere. 

He initiated conversation: 
a trivial attempt to gain rapport.  
We discussed my past and current events. 
Each story was surgically dissected; 
it was torture being under the knife. 
I was wide awake through the incisions; 
helpless against the tools of a madman. 
I grimaced through the pain of memories-
I opened old wounds then they were sown shut-
I’m plagued by a beast that lingers inside- 
I need to run before I’m devoured! 

My inner turmoil came to a close; 
he arrived at a clear diagnosis. 
He noted the cycling mood changes: 
a constant battle between highs and lows.
The faulty sense of attachment issues 
bred in from a childhood beginning. 
Sporadic moments of self-destruction; 
accompanied by parties and drinking.
The guilt from burning bridges to loved ones
constructed my imposed wall to the world.
He told me he understands my poems 
and the theme behind each one I wrote. 

From the introspection, private musings 
love, temptations and whimsical humor;
it’s a way to channel my redemption  
to add a purpose to this unhinged life. 
The meeting was officially over. 
I unraveled a new revelation:  
I’m a continual work in progress 
finding my road to a recovery.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2015



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Date: 1/28/2019 9:11:00 PM
I love you words they are relatable
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Date: 2/1/2015 2:45:00 PM
Wicked and awesome...hellishly introspective
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Date: 1/22/2015 11:35:00 AM
Oh the struggle of therapy. I'm not sure anyone who has not really been there can understand the self-torture to gain a cure. I have an earlier write to this and have left link to it. It's amazing how the experience is so similar but our styles very different. http://www.eliteskills.com/z/93027
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Townsend Avatar
Ty Townsend
Date: 1/22/2015 12:16:00 PM
I read your poem and also noticed the parellels between our experiences. It is true that every session is a chess match or a battle to obtain control for sanity's sake. Our two different perspectives share the same voice.
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