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Proxy Wedding

Sweat is dribbling down my face, I am feeling hot
I can still hear the cracking sound swirling around 
And the night dancing to its own rhythm
The night suddenly fades in and the journey begin
That night I finish school late 
And boarded the bus from Kingston town
And got off at Spanish town
Then hop on another bus to Linstead town
And got on the last bus that was going 
In the direction of my country home in Dover Castle
I got on the last bus about eleven pm, 
The night was dark and the road was bare and dry
No car was around, just the country bus going out of town
Not a person was insight except for the passengers 
And the driver directing the bus light
I can clearly remember the cane field on either side of the road
It was like a bus going through an unwinding tunnel 
And  the silence of the night bore its weight upon my soldier  
I remember pressing the buzzer just before I reached my stop
And the conductor asked me if someone was coming to meet me
The bus was seven miles away from my country home
Back then I was young, innocent, quite, and intuitive 
I had not attained the level that I had today 
but I could sense something unusual anyway.
I stopped the bus and cross the dark street
 that was going in the direction of Dover Castle
I walked along the street in the black night 
Anxiety beckoned me to hum my mother’s song
And tension forced me to trod along
As I reached the corner, an unusual body odor 
Circled around me, someone who had not showered for days
Appeared to be following me
I began to pick up speed, and walked faster and faster
But the smell got closer and closer
I felt an arm reached out to grab me 
But I kept going without looking back
Then suddenly a bright light broke around the corner 
And stopped next to me, and the driver called out to me
I was reluctant to take the ride, 
 I began to wonder if he was the bad guy
Walking seven miles close to midnight is no fun
And after much persuasion, I yielded and took the ride
“What happen to the other guy? He is not coming? 
The drive asked
And I replied, “What guy?”
 “You are lucky that I gave you the ride; do not walk alone at night” 
the driver said.
I was still shaking and my heart was vibrating,
He was hiding in the cane fields and had planned to rape me
But help came just in time to stop that horrible crime
Later the driver revealed that he knew my brother
and they both work at the same company
As I was penning this verse on the bench in front of the hotel
A taxi driver came around and started touching me up 
My chest began to stiffen and a sudden vengeance rise up inside me
 I clenched my fist and took a deep breath 
He pulled out his billfold and showed it to me, 
and this was what he said, 
"everybody in my country has money"
 Everyone in my country is working
 Look, they use American dollar in my country
 "They don’t use Jamaican dollar here, I have money"
He crossed the street and went to the steak house opposite the hotel and whispers something to the man sitting outside , 
It was obvious that he was an informer
Suddenly my blood began to boil and I was raging inside
I took  his picture and showed it to the manager inside,
In seconds some people were moving out of the hotel,
I had no clue what everything was about
I just don’t know where else to go 
some men cannot keep their hands out of their mouth,
 they quarrel and shout and they shake their di**  all around the town. 
What have do I have to do with these people?
These happening really make me feel sad
Sometimes I sing, I laugh and I cry
I just want to have peace in my life
It’s this part of me that I cannot let go
It is this part of me that embodies my soul
It is this part of me that is determined to win
Sometimes, I feel as if I am living within myself
Then I have to come to my real sense
Sometimes I feel as if I am living within myself
And I have to wonder if I am already dead
The days go by the night light lit up the night sky
There is something that I still cannot understand 
 I still cannot solve this part of the puzzle
 I have tried so hard to put the pieces together
It is something bigger than faith that keeps me going
And I am bound to find it quite rewarding
Two mind two souls what is it that I  have behold
Two hearts  fused together but separated by water
How did I find myself in this situation?
My secret admirer?
My distant lover and my marriage partner
I had promised that I would never love again
After my heart has been broken so many times
I promised that I would never love again
Because my first love has brought me to shame
I promised that I would never love again
Because real love is not a game
Hearts meet hearts spirits meet spirits
Head meet head and love meet bed
This has been a rare time
And I just can’t get you out of my mind
The sky is blue the ocean is deep
And the journey is incomplete
You must set a time when we can meet
I know that you are busier that usual
And I don’t want to cause any confusion
It’s just a thin line that separates us
Thirteen hours flight that will unite us
They tell me that I am married now
 and I have settled down
I  have never attended a formal wedding 
except for the one I dreamt of in heaven
I heard about a proxy one
 but I still cannot imagined how it is done
I say that I love you and you say that you love me
But we have not physically met at the top of a hill
Is this how it supposed to be? 
A spiritual marriage
Is this how it supposed to be?  
A spiritual love?
I want more than this
Write a letter and tell me
Is this how it supposed to be?
I saw you sitting alone in the chair
Looking slightly tired
I wonder where you have been
A good night’s sleep can change the mood
And a substantial portion of health food.
Will increase your magnitude. 

Copyright © | Year Posted 2019

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