Private Roscoe Schlink Redeems Himself
Mr. Roscoe Schlink was drafted into the army in Bean Blossom, Indiana,
And was sent for basic training at Fort Fumble in the state of Louisiana.
He was given innumerable shots, yelled at a lot and shorn of all his hair,
Taught to salute, do an about face and issued baggy fatigues to wear!
He aspired to be a pilot but sarge said, "No, I need you in the infantry, son!
I'm gonna teach you ever' thing you need to know about shootin' this here gun!"
To the firing range they went, the sarge in a jeep, the corporals in a truck,
But Roscoe and his pals had to march fifteen miles - that was just their luck!
At the firing range they were issued weapons and instruction was begun.
Said sarge, "This here is yer rifle or yer 'piece' - don't you never call it a gun!
Engrave the serial number of yer 'piece' in yer skulls and don't fergit it!
And you'd better keep it as sparklin' clean as you will yer messin' kit!"
They tried to teach him to fire from the sitting, standing and prone position,
And to take careful aim and not fool around wasting precious ammunition!
Roscoe took steady aim and squeezed the trigger as he had been taught.
Bulls-eye! Alas, he hit another feller's target and his score came to naught!
He was sent to the European Theatre where he somehow survived the strife.
Renown for poor aim, his buddies steered clear of him fearing for their life!
But he redeemed himself winning the Silver Star, an honor his pals never got!
He was lauded for capturing two hundred prisoners without firing a shot!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
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