Prey

Forgive. Forgive. 
Father, please do the forgiving for me.
I am unable.
Father please forgive on my behalf,
that I too may be forgiven by You.

Forgive. That is my escape. I grasp for it.
I miss.

A human did this to me. A human, I thought. 
No, I did this to myself. 
I did this to myself, with the consent of a human. 
With the consent of a sociopath.

Forgive. Forgive. 

It is one thing to be told a lie. 
It is another to tell oneself. 
I knitted a woolen sweater for a wolf. 
We shared passion twice a day.

With my feet on the soil of my ancestors grave, 
I cried out across time, and was heard. 
The echo of destiny. Of pain.

F... Accept. 
Accept, like my body weight, the immovable truth.
My fault or no, only I can decide how to cope.
Like the dead part of my pituitary, 
some fates must die that others can be discovered. 
And so it is.

Accept. That only the positive can replace, can displace, overwhelm the past. So she must be found. The true. The unknown and new. What kind of partner, now that I have adorned myself with the hyde of a wolf?

If not found, she must at least be sought.
Hope, though a curse, a blessing. True.

Hunting, silently.
Hunting, from a screen.
Hunting, all alone.
At home, in the dark.

angerbetrayalblessingchangechristianfree verse

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