Press Secretary

A euphemism! I? That I do decry! Why the very word does imply That I would ignore, omit, pervert… If only to prevent some hurt. Well, let me speak out forthright: Search thoroughly my ways as I might I truly must express some doubt That a that is what I am about. The purveyors of confusion Suffer from a big delusion: ‘Lest anyone think I am unfair I will look into it, that I swear. Of all the words that I may rend Lest some of you misapprehend: It is quite uncouth, and not so grand To replace the truth with something bland. I am no cosmetic, that I vow. I simply put a smoother finish Upon the face of things, somehow To enhance, but not diminish. When things are not so peachy keen My words can keep things bright and clean. I ply those gears which do not quite mesh With unguent words that do refresh. One charge which will not bear any fruit Is that I do circumlocute. My words such a charge does refute: I tell it straight sans substitute. For those who think I do mislead ‘Tis clear my words they do misread. When what I say is scarce obscure Why is their translation so impure? Some suggest, my words to defeat Are oft effete and incomplete. Should I really have contrition For occasional omission? I think I will withhold comment. Controversy I will not foment! Believe me, I will not attempt To discuss things beneath contempt.